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#188318 - 10/21/07 11:34 PM Therapy?
theatrekid Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/03/07
Posts: 702
Loc: oregon
i have been going to therapy since the beginning of summer. at first it really helped it was amazing but lately i feel kinda stuck. my sessions are starting to run out of things to talk about. although i have improved in a ton of things over all i still feel pretty depressed. so me and my therapist decided to start seeing each other once every two weeks. i did this for two weeks and it seemed like all the progress i had made started slipping away i became incredibly deppresed blah blah blah. so any ways he wants me to start seeing him every week again. except now im worried that im dependent on these sessions. i want to be able to stop going as soon as possible because they are extremely expensive its about $500 a month. i feel like going is only keeping me from not getting any worse i dont feel like i am making any improvements any more. what should i do?


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#188344 - 10/22/07 08:36 AM Re: Therapy? [Re: theatrekid]
Paul1959 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/17/06
Posts: 525
Loc: NYC
Keep going. Or find a new therapist - or even a free one.
First, all progress has its plateaus. Not every session will always be a gut wrenching painful time, or a glorious breakthrough of understanding.
All talking is good. Even if you are talking about school, tv, books, something is probably going to come up that you can work on or think about.
I just finished a very long lull in my session - for about three months. But then the last few times,..it's like all the crap was taking its time coming to the surface.
I am surprised after only a few months that your T went to two-week sessions. Keep going. Yes, you will be dependant on Sessions to hold it together for a couple of years. That's normal. You're doing fine. Give yourself some slack. slow, steady progress is what you want.
Paul


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#188359 - 10/22/07 12:37 PM Re: Therapy? [Re: Paul1959]
Hauser Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/12/05
Posts: 2962
Loc: United States
When I dropped my last (and only) two T's, we had cut down to bi-monthly appointments. Maybe it was my fault (as far as them not working out for me) in that I failed to convey what I needed out of them, but that was there job, not mine. They didn't ask me enough questions, they made it mostly a one-way conversation where I did almost all the talking, when it was them that I needed to hear from.

How do your sessions go Chris? Are you doing most of the talking?


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#188388 - 10/22/07 07:42 PM Re: Therapy? [Re: Hauser]
theatrekid Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/03/07
Posts: 702
Loc: oregon
i do most of the talking yes he will ask me a few questions to get me going but for the most part i am in control of the session. which is the way i like it. my problems are i feel like its not helping me any more but at the same time im afraid that i am becoming dependent on going.


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#188423 - 10/23/07 12:50 AM Re: Therapy? [Re: theatrekid]
Hauser Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/12/05
Posts: 2962
Loc: United States
Well then this beckons the question of what has compelled you to seek their help in the first place.

Things to maybe ponder b4 you answer that question:

Are you getting in trouble? Are you getting along with your parents? Are you having panick attacks? Are you getting along with your co-workers/friends? Are you sleeping ok? Do you have signs of depression? Are you having substance abuse issues? How is your self-image? In short, WHY are you seeing him. I doubt it's cuz you feel you're "supposed" to go just because you were abused. As I recall you had specific reasons. Would you like to share with us why specifically you sought his services?


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#188426 - 10/23/07 01:17 AM Re: Therapy? [Re: Hauser]
theatrekid Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/03/07
Posts: 702
Loc: oregon
Hauser i started therapy the same reasons most people do i wanted help i was tired of living my life the way i was and wanted to change i wanted to stop being afraid.

maybe i havnt been clear enough on what my question is in the post i am worried that i am becoming dependent on my therapist i dont want to use these sessions as a crutch i want to use it as a tool to help me but not something i depend on how do i do that?


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#188432 - 10/23/07 02:20 AM Re: Therapy? [Re: theatrekid]
Hauser Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/12/05
Posts: 2962
Loc: United States
I think that would be best answered by someone that's had a "successful" treatment and is no longer in need of it, (which ain't me).


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#188433 - 10/23/07 03:43 AM Re: Therapy? [Re: Hauser]
dgoods Offline
Guest

Registered: 10/15/07
Posts: 622
Loc: Richmond area
tkid-
I'm relatively new to finally self-identifying as a CSA survivor, but I'm no stranger to therapy, having had the same therapist for four years (14-18), as well as two involuntary admissions to state mental hospitals during that time-frame, with the focus then being severe depression and "non-flagging" suicide attempts.
(A side note: The upside to free or state-paid mental help is you can be sure the people involved aren't doing it for the money; the downside is a much more limited set of options and resources)

Though i realize a big part of my lack of progress was due to not dealing with the SA, my other issues included impatience and anxiety. When i started taking therapy seriously, i still saw it being like sweeping broken glass off the floor- "let's hurry up and get this done, so we can all get back to living life". (BTW my T. also just let me talk, with occasional questions or nudges here and there.)

After eight months of talking, I was pissed off- "I show up once a week, talk for an hour, and go home- whoopty-doo..." I started showing up late, missing appointments, therapy became again something i did because i was told to. After the attendance started slipping, my T. actually called me at home, making sure i was safe, asking me what was up. I told him, this just isn't getting anywhere any more, what's the point? I don't feel suicidal, but where's the magic?

He then told me not to feel like we had to get anything "done", that if i was more comfortable dropping down to biweekly and just spent the hour talking about favorite bands, etc., that was something we could try, as long as i could make the commitment to go every time, on time, and to let him know, day or night, if i began feeling unsafe. That was acceptable to me, and that lasted for a little while, until my anxiety started kicking up again, and i felt like changing the frequency or intensity of our sessions wouldn't make a difference either.

I began having the exact same worries about being dependent on therapy forever, and i began shifting responsibility for my unhappiness completely onto therapy, accusing my T., and the clinic, of purposely holding my progress back so that i'd HAVE to go for the rest of my life, declaring that i hadn't felt unsafe in ages, and that i didn't want or need this anymore. I convinced my family i was going to feel worse if i kept having to go, and so i stopped going.

My T. had "left the door open" so to speak, which was good, since about a month after i dropped therapy, i dropped way back down mood-wise, and was either frenzied, or dead to the world. I was forced to admit that it didn't matter if i was "dependent" or not on therapy, i couldn't successfully cope with day-to-day living w/o it.

The state coverage stopped at 18, but by that time, i was at least able to recognize and interrupt my tendency to spiral into immobilizing depression. i obviously didn't face everything, but at least suicidal ideation and depression no longer seemed so seductive and inevitable the way it once did.

I didn't deal with my CSA successfully then, but sticking with my therapy probably kept me alive long enough for me to be here today... just my own experience w/ this, but i hope it's been worth taking the time to read it ...

_________________________
Give sorrow words: the grief that does not speak
Whispers the o'er-fraught heart and bids it break.

-William Shakespeare, Macbeth, Act IV, Sc. III

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#188434 - 10/23/07 04:17 AM Re: Therapy? [Re: dgoods]
OKIE MIKE Offline
Member

Registered: 02/13/04
Posts: 982
Loc: HULBERT OK
Therapy does diffrent things for diffrent people. I have ben in therapy for almost 20 years and all it has done is help me understand why I have problems fiting in to the world . It has helped me understand Why I am depresed or angry most of the time
but it has not helped with thease problems
I guess that I was ment to be a hermit

_________________________
MICHAEL

"I HAD NO SHOES THEN I SAW A MAN THAT HAD NO FEET"

"All I can do is be me, whoever that is"

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#188514 - 10/23/07 10:08 PM Re: Therapy? [Re: OKIE MIKE]
theatrekid Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/03/07
Posts: 702
Loc: oregon
dgoods that did help quite a bit actually thank you.
Mike i am afraid to do that i dont want to be in therapy 20 years from now i want to finish and then move on from this stuff eventualy. oh well i guess when im ready im ready.


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