Looking back over the past week. I don't understand or just can't see what going on with me. I've moved to a place of contempt, I'm pissy, not sure what I'm feeling. More sharp and cutting with my speak. Acting out in ways I haven't realized before.

Have been in a good place for over a year. A week ago we had a that service about CSA, then I found this place. I seemed overwhelmed and triggered by almost everything I read here.

I guess I set myself up, thinking I had more of a handle on this. Just don't know. I feel I've come along way, yet I feel I've gone nowhere, too. Confused.

I've wrote more poetry this week than ever. Although, I've only shared one here. Mostly about pain and abuse.

Richard.

I'm sorry you are have such a hard time, Richard. At times I have been overwhelmed, too. This especially happened when I first started. Not to mention that sexual abuse now seems to be the hot topic in the news.

One thing to do when you feel so overwhelmed it to take a bit of a vacation.... take a break. Do something fun. Avoid any newspapers and TV and don't come here. Of course, another thiing do is to talk about your feelings, in posts, in chat. It can help you think through things, by writing them down. At least it does me. Based on what you said, I would suggest you take a break of a few or several days. When you feel like it, come back, and post one the poems that expresses your feelings. Don't read anything, unless you feel you are ready. Just some things to think about. I hope this helps some.

Keith

I am not sure I need more down time. It's not going to get better without staying in it. It just sucks. I'm more of a control freak than I want to give myself credit and I feel pretty much out of control now. I can't hide in my old shell anymore, kind of got rid of that hiding place.

Thanks for your concern.

Richard.