When my lover holds me, I recognize that arousal can happen. Sometimes we make an agreement before hand, most importantly I'm clear with myself, and my own feelings. My lover and I have been there, we know each other's touch arouses us. If he holds me with the intention just to hold me, sexual feelings may still come up, and that's okay. Touch is like that. It is sense-ual. Even with a therapist (I don't recommend being held by a therapist) there will be sexual feelings. There seems to be the idea with us survivors, or at least myself, that sexual feelings aren't okay...that there needs to be a separation between True Love and Sex. That being held, even by a perpetrator can arose feelings of desire, of warmth, and sexuality. It's okay. Feelings come and go. It is the pattern of not being aware. If the hands moves to the crotch or anywhere else...then you can stop and say...I just want to be held right now...even if it is your own hand making the move. Trust yourself, develop that trust.