Newest Members
RodrigoBR, MJ545, Marant, BeingFound, journey4two
12332 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
blueelectron9 (48), Grunty1967b (2014), highflight (42), jocks44 (54), kitm1 (47), Porrick (44)
Who's Online
2 registered (sadclown, 1 invisible), 21 Guests and 5 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
12332 Members
74 Forums
63413 Topics
443357 Posts

Max Online: 418 @ 07/02/12 07:29 AM
Twitter
Page 1 of 2 1 2 >
Topic Options
#187993 - 10/19/07 11:12 PM Forgiveness - any reason to forgive a paedo???
RICK57 Offline
Member

Registered: 12/31/03
Posts: 1611
Loc: ENGLAND
The forgiveness thread appears from time to time, so I thought I'd just seek a balance of opinions!

Some people seem to think that we cannot achieve an acceptable life balance if we don't forgive the paedophiles that groomed/abused/attacked us.

If you can think of any reason why you would forgive a paedophile, please add your reasons here. I'll start you off - please keep continuity of numbers.

1/ We were the same age and experimenting - there was no imbalance of power. (PS this was not my scenario, but it was the only one I could think of).

Best wishes ...Rik



Edited by RICK57 (10/20/07 12:03 AM)
_________________________
*Never look down on anybody unless you're helping them up.
*I was seeking a way of expressing my anger - I found hope!
*There are many battles before the war is won! It can be won!

Top
#187994 - 10/19/07 11:14 PM Re: Forgiveness - any reason to forgive a paedo??? [Re: RICK57]
MarkK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/02/07
Posts: 2502
Loc: Denver, CO
2) Forgiving them removes their power over me


Top
#187997 - 10/19/07 11:41 PM Re: Forgiveness - any reason to forgive a paedo??? [Re: MarkK]
Bewlayb1 Offline
Guest

Registered: 08/03/07
Posts: 241
Loc: NYC
I'm sorry for breaking the thread, but I will never forgive the pedophile who destroyed my life, left me nearly mute, and gave me nightmares each night of aborted fetuses and amputated limbs for ten years. Some people should be dead, add nothing positive to the world, contribute only pain and suffering.

I don't mean to upset anyone. But I certainly have a right not to forgive. Sometimes hatred IS the most appropriate sentiment.


Top
#187999 - 10/19/07 11:48 PM Re: Forgiveness - any reason to forgive a paedo??? [Re: MarkK]
BJK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/02/07
Posts: 1526
First of all, Rick...I don't think forgiveness is as important as a desire to forgive.

But to add to the list:

3) Forgiving them actually helps me feel better about myself...something with which I struggle

_________________________
Revenge is nothing more than another way of perpetuating abuse.

What the world needs now
Is some new words of wisdom
Like la la la la la la la la la.
-David Lowery

Having a friend who will keep a secret for you is worthless compared to a friend who won't keep a secret from you.

Top
#188048 - 10/20/07 01:24 PM Re: Forgiveness - any reason to forgive a paedo??? [Re: BJK]
melliferal Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/03/05
Posts: 1159
I won't be forgiving mine. I wouldn't forgive any pedo - not a one. That recent one they just caught in Thailand? Look at him - I won't be forgiving him any time soon. Why should the ones that abused me get special consideration? Just because it was me? Was I somehow different from any other kid? I don't think so. Anyone who could do that to a child - any child - is not worth the amount of respect I would need to have for him or her in order to forgive them. I am not a "special" case.

_________________________
Children cannot consent; they can only comply.

Oprah's resources for male survivors

Top
#188051 - 10/20/07 01:46 PM Re: Forgiveness - any reason to forgive a paedo??? [Re: melliferal]
testingWaters Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/19/06
Posts: 508
Because realizing one has the choice to forgive, or not to forgive, allows him to be a whole person who gets to make his own decisions. And because neither forgiving or not forgiving is the "right" choice, the higher ground, the better thing to do.

Because we are taught again and again and again in our culture (most of us here being Western) that forgiveness is *good*. And if we react against that simplistic message by not forgiving, maybe we are not really thinking or speaking for ourselves.

How can we really choose for ourselves until we get to a place where we recognize that forgiveness is neither good or bad necessarily?

two cents, tw


Top
#188052 - 10/20/07 01:49 PM Re: Forgiveness - any reason to forgive a paedo??? [Re: testingWaters]
Woundedheart Offline
Guest

Registered: 10/11/07
Posts: 31
Loc: K.C. MO.
4. Opens the door which leads to the Freedom to Love, again.

Richard.


Top
#188072 - 10/20/07 04:39 PM Re: Forgiveness - any reason to forgive a paedo??? [Re: Woundedheart]
OKIE MIKE Offline
Member

Registered: 02/13/04
Posts: 980
Loc: HULBERT OK
I can not think of any reason to forgive a child molester .

_________________________
MICHAEL

"I HAD NO SHOES THEN I SAW A MAN THAT HAD NO FEET"

"All I can do is be me, whoever that is"

Top
#188076 - 10/20/07 04:46 PM Re: Forgiveness - any reason to forgive a paedo??? [Re: OKIE MIKE]
Nyjah Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/14/07
Posts: 610
At this point, I don't know if there is any reason to forgive them. But thats just me.


Top
#188077 - 10/20/07 04:47 PM Re: Forgiveness - any reason to forgive a paedo??? [Re: Nyjah]
MarkK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/02/07
Posts: 2502
Loc: Denver, CO
5. Unplugs the anger machine


Top
Page 1 of 2 1 2 >


Moderator:  ModTeam, TJ jeff 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.