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#18796 - 07/21/05 09:38 AM Here for each other
ak Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/10/04
Posts: 1491
I am realizing something. We all come here seeking help for ourself. We all either find this place because of our need, or have someone else tell us of it because they know our need. It is a self thing.

But, once we are here, we also are here for each other. And it make me wonder. I wonder if truly, if we heal ourselves. Or if 'we' heal ourselves. Because I do not know that healing can happen single. We come here to help ourselves. Yet, at same time, we help each other. Healing is not the single effort, but the community one.

I have friend here right now, he is having difficulty with some health issues. And I help him with something just now, very small thing, and as he is a polite person, he thank me for helping him. And I thank him for allowing me to. Because to be able to help this person who has helped me so much, it make ME feel good too. He look at me like I am crazy of course, and even ask me, oh my, are you getting loopey again? But truly, I feel greatfulness to be trusted enough to help another, even if it is small thing.

So I just wished to say thank you here. To those who reach to me and help me very much as I am here. But also to those that allow me to speak to them and maybe help them some? because I 'get' so much from here, both to read and be allowed to write how I feel. There is great persons here, and I thank you all for to help myself and others. We help ourself when we help each other, and we all help much here.

Andrei


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#18797 - 07/21/05 12:32 PM Re: Here for each other
reality2k4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6838
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
Andrei, I think you are what this place really is about, caring and helping.
Yes, it is healing to just vent thoughts or maybe to help others, it is what mankind is meant to be about.

Is it not true, that we are the ones who never asked for help, and yet we can freely help others.

I think that is a true testimony to yourself,

ste

_________________________
Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

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#18798 - 07/21/05 04:29 PM Re: Here for each other
Mike Church Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 01/23/03
Posts: 3439
Loc: Toronto, Canada
Andrei and reality2K4 you are both right.

That is exactly what MS is about. When we first arrive we are not exactly well grounded and we cry out for help. And it happens; we get help. And then a funny thing happens. We support others exactly as you two have said. And we do it selflessly and willingly because that is how we get it.

The collective We are what MS is. And we must remember that there are still others out there suffering under the evil of abuse as well as those that are still trying to come to grips with the past. And We must ensure that MS is there for them as well.

Another thing that happens after you have been here for some time is that you really get that feel good thing when you see the progress made by others. I have seen that progress in the two of you and in countless others and that means that all we do is not in vain. To make a positive difference in someone's life does wonders for your own sense of selfworth.

_________________________
Mikey

IT REALLY IS OK TO STUMBLE. NONE OF US ARE PERFECT.

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#18799 - 07/21/05 04:47 PM Re: Here for each other
ForeverFighting Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/09/05
Posts: 1058
Loc: New Mexico, USA
I find exactly the same thing here. Some days I come here to tell my story, to say I'm in pain. But most days I get here and read that someone else is in pain, going through something very difficult. It's that interchange where I say something, and the other person says that post or that PM really helped--that's what makes it all worthwhile. None of us asked to be here, but having been through what we've been through gives us an empathy that most people don't have. It's that connection between us that feels so safe and kind. I don't know which feels better. To have someone empathize with me, say they are so sorry I hurt and they're here for me always? Or to have someone say, thank you, that it meant so much to them to have someone care?

My therapist says I've made more progress since I started reaching out to this brotherhood of support than I did in the previous ten years. It's a different healing. It's standing together, helping each other, not being alone anymore. This site means a lot to me. To see other men who've been through so much living relatively normal lives gives hope. Yet to see them come here and pour out their souls in a way I've never seen a man do makes it feel like it's OK for me to be a man, too. Like if you can do this, so can I. We can make it as long as we're together.

_________________________
ForeverFighting

"This search for the truth--it's not for the faint of heart."--Goren on 'Law & Order: CI'
"The former things will not be called to mind, neither will they come up into the heart."--Isaiah 65:17

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#18800 - 07/23/05 07:23 AM Re: Here for each other
Leosha Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/18/03
Posts: 3614
Loc: Right here
Andrei,

My friend, you are exactly right. Part of the beauty of this place is that we are here for each other, and help each other, as much as we help ourselves. I think by design, we get as much here by helping each other as we do being helped ourself. It is a wonderful thing. And you, my friend, you demonstrate that very much both here and in real life on a regular basis. Thank you.

Leosha

_________________________
Avatar photo in memory of my younger brother Makar.

"Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted."~~~Martin Luther King Jr., 1963

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#18801 - 07/23/05 11:44 PM Re: Here for each other
VN Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/03/05
Posts: 723
Andrey,

I think, that it - the truth, that we help some of us directly as we help each other. As other permission our help, we can see, that we are good, and that others trust us enough to allow our help. To be trusted, be noticed as a positive thing, it should make our ideas about us directly by more positive also. You, you have helped me much. And operating to help me, and allowing me during some time to help you. I thank you very much my friend.

VN


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#18802 - 07/24/05 12:06 AM Re: Here for each other
healing_inside Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/28/05
Posts: 2005
Guys,

U all are right. I feel the same way, we have all help each other and it shows what caring guys we truly are, we are there 4 each other.

_________________________
I can't come to the phone right now, I am out living my life

*** WoR Retreat Alumni - Alta 2005 ***

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