I just wanted to mention this excerpt from the article. As a partner, witnessing the use of the coping mechanisms can be so frustrating- until you realize why a survivor has been using them. It was very meaningul to hear again.
"Freyd (1996) in her book on betrayal trauma, writes about the reasons why a child would forget child abuse. The reasons she gives are avoidance of pain, terror or overwhelming information. Repression lessens the pain of the abusive incident. Defense mechanisms help survivors keep secrets from themselves (Freyd, 1996)"
I haven't finished the article yet, but just wanted to mention that. I think finally KNOWING that is one of the most important things a partner can do to help.
I was silent as a child, and silenced as a young woman; I am taking my lumps and bumps for being a big mouth, now, but usually from those whose opinion I don't respect. - Sandra Cisneros