Every time I get ready to really complain
I mean really, really complain
Yell at God
That kind of thing
Some image of someone worse off than me comes into my head
I hate those things
People in war zones
People with terminal illnesses
People living on the street
And then I hear that sweet little voice in my head saying
"So many people are so much worse off than you are."
I hate that little voice, and some day I'm going to find it and squash the little bastard.
All I want is for five minutes to believe that my life is the worst one in the world and to gnash my teeth and flail around and curse and all of that stuff.
I think it would feel wonderful.
I do not want to put my fist through a wall.
I've seen those holes, and it looks painful.
Also, I'm not sure about teeth gnashing.
But sitting in a corner, crying, with my thumb in my mouth sounds promising.
I know, I thought of other places I could put my thumbs, too.
I'm way ahead of you.
It's just that I want so much to throw in the towel
But I can't find the towel
And I'm not sure where to throw it, if I ever find one.
I just keep trudging on, and I'm not sure why.
The "People need you thing" doesn't work.
I know who needs me and how much. They'd survive.
I just can't seem to do it.
Not kill myself.
That's really more effort than I want to put into this thing.
I just sort of want ot sit down and say "Enough is enough."
And have that be it.
But I shall continue to put one foot in front of the other.
My doctor says that , if I keep putting one spoon in front of the other, I won't have to worry about my feet
Or anything else, for that matter.
Suicide by peanut butter.
I suppose there are worse ways.
Anyway, life sucks.
Just thought I'd throw that in.
Maybe I'm just tired
Maybe a little vacation
Maybe a short induced coma
Or a Nintendo game that I was good enough at to get addicted to
Where was I?
Oh, yeah......the people worse off than me.
They've done it again.
But, I sure don't like it here sometimes.
It may not suck as bad as someone else's
But sometimes it still sucks.
I'm healing now, and I wasn't sure I would.