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#187347 - 10/15/07 10:12 PM How is the weather... ??? need help
ptsdwife Offline
Guest

Registered: 08/25/07
Posts: 45
I been having such a little communication with my husband since all this started almost 4 months a go....
a month a go we talked about divorce I'm always been the supportived wife so I told him to bring it on if that's whAt he wanted .. all I wanted was his happiness ... a month later I have not see him or the divorce papers... every couple of days we talk about how is the weather because we dont talk about anything really personal so weird.. my husband of 12 years and now we have nothibg to say ????

I send him an e-mail the other day letting him know that somebody loves him and his reply was THANK YOU ... ok I guess it's better then no responce = )

today he send me a test message saying ...hope ypu are doing good so I reply

Well I miss my husband, friend and partner but I'm breathing so I'm doing ok... i asked him how he was doing...
he did not reply.... it's this to much for him to deal with ?

it's it better for me to just ignored and just talk nothing or bring him to the reality no I'm not ok...

which aproched will help him, to deal with wherever his daling with ?

1- I'm ok ... Im going on with life
2- I'm ok ... Missing you and making my self go on with life
3- I'm not ok... this is crazy and it's taking the best of me
4- i'm not ok ... what are you doing ???

and go on and so forth we all know the question.

I been undestanding never mad ... it's this a mistake i'm making


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#187350 - 10/15/07 10:25 PM Re: How is the weather... ??? need help [Re: ptsdwife]
mmac Offline
Guest

Registered: 09/21/07
Posts: 107
Loc: PA
ptsdwife,
My heart goes out to you...i too am in this and i know everyone is different...Your H might respond differently than my bf, depends on where he is in his recovery. My BF is very new and in depression (hopefully on meds) we haven't seen each other or actually had any kind of conversation in 4 weeks. Last Friday i called him cause i just missed him and he went ballistic, screaming lies to hurt me as much as he is hurting. In his present state of mind he is not rationally thinking of our relationship and i guess this is where i learned just how much CSA can screw with a person. My BF is a fabulous man, but is in a great amount of pain with no end in site.
should you email him, call, etc.???only you or he can answer that.
and it would probably be best to ask him what he'd feel comfortable with. if you are committed to your relationship and to be there for him, telling him that and then giving him the space to make choices on it would be the way to go. If he is in a different place or unable to respond, he could just need more time.
Only you can really decide how to proceed.
i wish you much courage on this journey.
M:)

_________________________
"Insanity is doing the same thing over and over, and expecting different results."

I cannot take your steps, but I can walk beside you, if you'll let me.

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#187351 - 10/15/07 10:25 PM Re: How is the weather... ??? need help [Re: ptsdwife]
mmac Offline
Guest

Registered: 09/21/07
Posts: 107
Loc: PA
ptsdwife,
My heart goes out to you...i too am in this and i know everyone is different...Your H might respond differently than my bf, depends on where he is in his recovery. My BF is very new and in depression (hopefully on meds) we haven't seen each other or actually had any kind of conversation in 4 weeks. Last Friday i called him cause i just missed him and he went ballistic, screaming lies to hurt me as much as he is hurting. In his present state of mind he is not rationally thinking of our relationship and i guess this is where i learned just how much CSA can screw with a person. My BF is a fabulous man, but is in a great amount of pain with no end in site.
should you email him, call, etc.???only you or he can answer that.
and it would probably be best to ask him what he'd feel comfortable with. if you are committed to your relationship and to be there for him, telling him that and then giving him the space to make choices on it would be the way to go. If he is in a different place or unable to respond, he could just need more time.
Only you can really decide how to proceed.
i wish you much courage on this journey.
M:)

_________________________
"Insanity is doing the same thing over and over, and expecting different results."

I cannot take your steps, but I can walk beside you, if you'll let me.

Top
#187355 - 10/15/07 10:40 PM Re: How is the weather... ??? need help [Re: mmac]
ptsdwife Offline
Guest

Registered: 08/25/07
Posts: 45
You know this it's been going for 4 month as far as I know... I just can believed my marriage will be over without a warning or a fight ... i'm so tyred of being sad... but at the same time i love him so... its getting easier i dont cry as much.. i'm beginning to make new friends... people that dont know him so we dont talk about the past so by eliminating the past the pain goes away but also him and his memories.... on the present .. I think of him though out the day .. actually probably every hour but I'm able to put it away and in the future... I dont think about ot at all i no longer have dreams or hopes for tomorrow... only deal with the now and I'm able to survive ..

tonight it's hard but I guess it's ok... will go to bed and forget ..

Thank you and I will pray for all of us tonight!


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