Update

I have hope that things are going to get better. I am seeing some progres our relationship. Things seem to be moving at a snails pace for me but they are moving. My husband has been seeing a therapist for about 9 months. I recently have started seeing the same T. I know several of you cautioned against this. However, my husband said that he didn't mind and it seems to be working for us. The T has given us both help on how to relate with each other. Things are definately improving. My husband is regularly going to therapy. He tells me very very very small details about therapy....such as he went this week. He is definately trying very very hard.
Intimacy is still a huge problem. I am starting to doubt that that will ever get better.
My husband has yet to tell me that he feels better which is frustrating for me because I want him to stop feeling depressed, guilt, shame etc.
Communication about this issue is still very minimal. He hates talking about it. ( I still don't know what happened to him. Is that something that he needs to tell me to help in his recovery?_)
I feel better. I don't cry as much. I am less depressed. It helps so much better to have a therapist to talk to. It took me almost 2 years to start seeing a therapist. I was so misserable with all this pent up inside of me and no one to talk to.
I just thought I would share my small glimmer of hope to help encourage others.
WW

weepywife,

thank you for sharing - yes, it is always good for us to hear of progress like yours - i wish you only the best and continued courage in both your recovery and his. it sounds like you are on a really good road right now.

i also would hasten to add please DO count the positives as well as the negatives; there will always be negatives, try not to let them have more power than they really are.

be strong, stay strong.
indy

WW,

Thought you might like to hear a viewpoint from a survivor's standpoint.

Yes, progress does seem to race along at a snail's pace I've been in recovery for 4 years now, and still working on things. The rule of thumb seems to be baby steps. Just little baby steps, but maybe that's the way things need to be. Just continual, paced, gradual progress. Maybe it sticks better with us in that way.

I know you guys deserve a medal for putting up with us. I applaud and admire your patience.

Lots of love,

John