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#186575 - 10/11/07 07:06 PM Back to Basics
Grunty1967b Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/28/05
Posts: 823
Loc: Australia
Two years into my recovery and I was reminded yesterday about ďthe basicsĒ. By that I mean taking the power away from the abuser and learning (and trying to apply) the fact that the abuse is in the past and I am allowed to live today without it crippling me.

I have a new therapist after my first one moved on after working with me for 15 months. Iím still trying to adjust and see if I will want to stay with this new T but as part of getting a new T you have to go back to the beginning and tell your story all over again.

I knew this would have to happen and yesterday was part of that. The positive thing that came out of it Ė not that it was pleasant going over hurtful stuff again, was that as she said, the more I tell the story (to trusted people, in safe environments) the less the pain should be and the less hold it should have over me.

I Ďunderstandí what she is saying, accept it, and look forward to that happening but Iím not at that place yet.

The good thing is that I can see it as a possibility. It reminds me of the basics. The abuser has no more power over me (easily said, not to easily done). I am accepting of that fact though and look forward to it.

Many others here at MS have shared how they have told others about their abuse. Iíve admired the bravery but could never see myself ever doing that. Now I can see a time when that may happen. Itís a future possibility for me that I never contemplated before.

Of course there needs to be a reason to disclose and I wonít necessarily be looking for one but if circumstances arise at least Iím now think I might be able to do this one day in the future.

The basics are good to remember.


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#186659 - 10/12/07 03:19 AM Re: Back to Basics [Re: Grunty1967b]
pietie Offline
Guest

Registered: 01/23/07
Posts: 326
Loc: South Africa
That is so true. And from my own experience, the first time you tell your story and do not get any expected response - the response we wait for like you are so bad, it gets easier and easier.

I told a good friend of mine in February. His response was a simple " I am here for you if you need to talk" and the blower "ou did not do anything wrong".

We have this preconceived idea of what is going to happen when we share and I can tell you it usually is totally different!!

_________________________
Not Perfect, just forgiven

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