tie him up pull the chord
nice and tight
see his feet
yes they wiggle don't they

ive lost in this game but wheres my
prized mask
or am i the masked prize
or was there never anything to lose
i had nothing
worth anything

you made a deal with demons i see now
fearful are my crys
i thoght maybe you would care and protect me
i was so very worng
you got into my head and created my hell
in demons we trust

hush hush he says
just for a second
my howls went far and ran the distance yet no one was
left at the finish line
and in my mind the back of my furyous pain i heard
the muffles of whispers so quite
this was my place
my home
my life
the tears are not forgottn

i hear the chords of a guitar
hush hush you say so softly in my ear now
your face is nice boy
hush hush you say
your face must stay nice but you still need a scar
one that will never leave your mind for all time

there hands had carved a mark on my soul
spiritulity broken and declared nothing by the evil ones
so i stopped crying
for myself
and cried again
to myself
and laughed
not being myself anymore
i was now a part of the club
this was my role
leased in perversity
ghosts
darkness
property
i was now marked as there own

they had made it known
in a place others would not see but i would always always know
on me and inside me
and i have already lost touch with what i once was
if i was anything at all

i brought you in
i gave you the walk and the talk and ill take you out
and youll smile and laugh
as we trample on your spirit
is it broken yet
or can you even tell under the weight of your diseased soul
can you tell now boy the difference in your voice
the way you walk
the way you talk and embrace and think of
nothing
your mind is ours forver remeber
smile
never amounting to anything
at least you will always belive that inside boy
i am your boss
and you
are my property
my target again
so fight me and fight me and
fight me again
but you'll never beat me

baby boy he is trapped in the rain

Nicky,

This is really powerful and I can see why you talk about it in a poem. Sometimes prose just doesn't work, does it? I remember earlier this year some of the worst stuff that I had to talk about I could only put down on paper as a list of questions.

But the important thing is to get it out. I'm glad you are able to do that.

Much love,
Larry

thank you larry
i was just saying yesteday
i write and write and dont even realize it
then i go back later on and say wow it is way to long
and yes that is exactly the reason i need to write
thanks

Nicky,

You know what? Write it as you feel it. This isn't for the New Yorker, it's for Nicky. Write whatever you feel inside you and then see what options you can find in what you write.

You may want to come back later and revise your poem, and okay, that's fine. But in the first instance I think it's much more important to use our creativity as a means of empowering ourselves and reclaiming the freedom that was taken away when we were so young.

Much love,
Larry