Newest Members
rhyoung, Jefferson22, OxfordArms, Anony_mous, Drew6991x
12367 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
rpalm06 (46)
Who's Online
8 registered (GT13568, Obi, Scott1962, 4 invisible), 9 Guests and 5 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
12367 Members
74 Forums
63557 Topics
444051 Posts

Max Online: 418 @ 07/02/12 07:29 AM
Twitter
Page 1 of 2 1 2 >
Topic Options
#186058 - 10/09/07 10:58 PM Can someone please tell me this
Brokenhearted Offline
Member

Registered: 08/07/06
Posts: 644
Loc: TX
I've just got to know, is the rollercoaster of recovery as bad as, or worse than, the rollercoaster BEFORE recovery even begins?????? B/c if it's worse, oh, man.....

Please, please tell me it is hardest before the survivor can talk about his abuse, that it gets better once he understands along w/ his partner the effects and so on?

Still hanging onto the uncertainty of "will we ever get there (recovery)."

\:\(

_________________________
Brokenhearted

It were better for him that a millstone were hanged around his neck, and he cast into the sea, than that he should offend one of these little ones.
Luke 17:2

Top
#186071 - 10/09/07 11:28 PM Re: Can someone please tell me this [Re: Brokenhearted]
WalkingSouth Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 16264
For me.....

The roller coaster after the shit hit the fan was much worse than the ignorance before, but........ Even during the worst of it I NEVER wanted to go back to the way it was before.

That has been my experience and may not match that of other guys.

Lots of love,

John

_________________________
“Life’s journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting ‘Holy ____…! What a ride!’” ~Hunter S. Thompson

Top
#186072 - 10/09/07 11:28 PM Re: Can someone please tell me this [Re: Brokenhearted]
violet Offline
Guest

Registered: 08/13/07
Posts: 118
Loc: US
Brokenhearted, please check your PM's i fyou're still online.

V.

_________________________
I was silent as a child, and silenced as a young woman; I am taking my lumps and bumps for being a big mouth, now, but usually from those whose opinion I don't respect. - Sandra Cisneros

Top
#186073 - 10/09/07 11:33 PM Re: Can someone please tell me this [Re: violet]
mogigo Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/24/07
Posts: 1331
Loc: Colorado
The question is, is life without any ups better than a life without any downs. The answer is it's no life at all.

I'll take the pain Broken, then at least I get the ups too.

Mike

_________________________
Thriving

Top
#186081 - 10/09/07 11:55 PM Re: Can someone please tell me this *DELETED* [Re: mogigo]
ttoon Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/19/07
Posts: 977
Post deleted by ttoon

_________________________
checkin out for a few weeks... whistle
02/07/09

Top
#186087 - 10/10/07 12:12 AM Re: Can someone please tell me this [Re: ttoon]
pain4ever Offline


Registered: 04/05/01
Posts: 1032
I look at mine like the Top Thrill Dragster at Cedar Point....0 to 120 MPH in less than 4 seconds....straight up in the air with a twist 90 degree angle....425 feet then 90 degress straight back down at 120 MPH....loop that...thats what recovery is at times.

But eventually the ride gets easier and eventually i think we can get off at some point.

[/img]http://www.rcdb.com/ig1896.htm?picture=41[/img]



Edited by pain4ever (10/10/07 12:22 AM)
_________________________
Peace and Tranquility all depends on your frame of reference.

Top
#186093 - 10/10/07 12:31 AM Re: Can someone please tell me this *DELETED* [Re: pain4ever]
ttoon Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/19/07
Posts: 977
Post deleted by ttoon

_________________________
checkin out for a few weeks... whistle
02/07/09

Top
#186390 - 10/10/07 11:49 PM Re: Can someone please tell me this [Re: ttoon]
Brokenhearted Offline
Member

Registered: 08/07/06
Posts: 644
Loc: TX
You guys make me laugh...but also thank you for the positive side of it "getting worse" after ignorance.

If you please, may I ask one more? Just what IS it that "hits the fan"? Is it the realization that half your life has been lived w/o feeling it or something like that? Or that a lot of self-loathing/self-shame could have been lessened if only you had understood sooner that the shame never even belonged to you?

_________________________
Brokenhearted

It were better for him that a millstone were hanged around his neck, and he cast into the sea, than that he should offend one of these little ones.
Luke 17:2

Top
#186392 - 10/10/07 11:54 PM Re: Can someone please tell me this [Re: Brokenhearted]
EGL Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 06/19/04
Posts: 7821
Quote:
"What is it that hits the fan?"


For me, it was the inability to continue the charade that was my so called "life" - no longer pretending I was "normal", no longer being able to keep secrets buried inside, and generally just have a total meltdown. My wife was very concerned because she thought I was really losing my sanity and that I was going to need to "go away" (hospitalized) for a while to get better. It was a pretty hard smackdown.

_________________________
Eddie

Top
#186404 - 10/11/07 12:50 AM Re: Can someone please tell me this [Re: Brokenhearted]
WalkingSouth Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 16264
Quote:
Just what IS it that "hits the fan"?


The fact that I had wasted 40 years hiding and living a limited life when in reality the world was available at my fingertips and I didn't even know it. I didn't have a clue.

The fact that my life was lived believing I was not good enough, that I wasn't capable of great things.

The fact that I didn't have a dream. I didn't know how. My dream had been stolen from me and I didn't even know it.

And to top it all off, the fact that what I had experienced at the hands of older people who I had thought were my friends was actually SEXUAL ABUSE!

and

The fact that what I had experienced at the hands of my parents had actually been physical abuse as well as emotional neglect and abuse.

It all came crashing down on me.

_________________________
“Life’s journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting ‘Holy ____…! What a ride!’” ~Hunter S. Thompson

Top
Page 1 of 2 1 2 >


Moderator:  ModTeam, peroperic2009 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.