What do you all think about this idea?
I know y’all always say not to push or expect a survivor to “get it” that he’s a survivor when he reads an article or book about survivor issues. I don’t think I’m being too pushy b/c it’s been over a year since we confronted his abuse issue. He doesn’t much like to talk about it to this day, but I’m thinking of emailing him an article that was in an MS post once, about the long-term effects of abuse on a person that a person may not even realize. It is one that several survivors had said was one of the best and most profound articles on abuse they had read. Anyway, doesn’t a survivor feel at least, along w/ some anxiety, some *relief* that there is a reason for these unique characteristics and to know that he’s not alone and that it can be healed?
I thought if he would read it, he might finally “see” that, indeed, there are reasons he is different and there are things about him that are not “normal” or at least not as right as they should or could be. I just want him to realize this finally so we can finally be on the same level and see that this is impeding our relationship so we can work on it. I want him to trust me to be beside him as he deals, and maybe we’ll finally have a connection of true closeness. I think that would be good for both of us, no?
Also, do survivors usually begin to talk about their abuse once they realize it affects them (perhaps from something they've read)? I really wish mine would be open to sharing w/ me not necessarily details but just feel relieved that he can talk to me and maybe just about "it" in general, like "Wow, I didn't know "It" was such a big deal." It would be something we could talk about and might draw us closer, since he hardly talks about anything anyway, except work.
So….I’ll just wait for your replies.