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#185588 - 10/07/07 11:28 PM A Friend Forever
MarkK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/02/07
Posts: 2503
Loc: Denver, CO
.



Edited by MarkK (04/16/08 01:58 PM)

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#185615 - 10/08/07 08:37 AM Re: A Friend Forever [Re: MarkK]
MemoryVault Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/01/07
Posts: 693
Loc: NJ
Sorry, Mark --

Friendships can survive those moments when it looks like everything's collapsed, but I've lost "friends forever" too...they're the people I miss most.

David


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#185828 - 10/09/07 09:22 AM Re: A Friend Forever [Re: MemoryVault]
MarkK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/02/07
Posts: 2503
Loc: Denver, CO
Originally Posted By: MemoryVault
I've lost "friends forever" too...they're the people I miss most.


David - thanx for writing. And your right - they're the ones I miss the most too... I keep going over and over things, trying to find out what I did wrong. I realize it could be he just wasn't really a friend ... either way it still hurts.


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#185841 - 10/09/07 09:58 AM Re: A Friend Forever [Re: MarkK]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Mark,

I look back and I really regret the friends I lost just because of all the messed up ideas I had in my head from the CSA: they will figure me out, they will "want me like that".

Others fade because our lives take different turns. I has hurt me a lot when I have made contact with a good friend from years ago who just isn't interested anymore.

But in other cases I think misunderstandings get in the way. No one is perfect, after all, and even good friend can lash out in a bad moment. I like to think that at that moment, that's when my friend needs me the most.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#185913 - 10/09/07 03:58 PM Re: A Friend Forever [Re: roadrunner]
MarkK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/02/07
Posts: 2503
Loc: Denver, CO
Originally Posted By: roadrunner
... and even good friend can lash out in a bad moment. I like to think that at that moment, that's when my friend needs me the most.


yeah ... so that's when i let them down the hardest, cuz i wasn't there after the "lashing out". instead, no - i ran and hid like some lame-o unable to cope with a simple argument.

i dunno. there's been no contact since, so i doubt he's hurting any. he's always been the type to be very comfortable with other people, always a bunch of friends around him.

then again, maybe he DID mean harm, and i'm better off without him. which would be a good thing - cuz i am definitely without him now.

M


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#189530 - 11/01/07 05:04 PM Re: A Friend Forever [Re: MarkK]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Mark,

Originally Posted By: MarkK
i ran and hid like some lame-o unable to cope with a simple argument.


I hope you won't beat up on yourself over this. Once the moment is past we really don't know what was meant and of course hindsight is always so much sharper. Where survivors are concerned I think we need to give ourselves a break and bear in mind that if our defenses go up lightning-fast, that hair-trigger response is there in us for a reason.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#189840 - 11/03/07 05:03 PM Re: A Friend Forever [Re: roadrunner]
MarkK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/02/07
Posts: 2503
Loc: Denver, CO
Originally Posted By: roadrunner
I hope you won't beat up on yourself over this.

Oh ... much much to late. I had beaten myself up before I even wrote the words...

It's one of my specialties - self-cruelty.

M


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#190205 - 11/06/07 02:09 PM Re: A Friend Forever [Re: MarkK]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Mark,

I understand what you are saying, bro. I think many of us are experts at this. Perhaps the key, then, is to ask ourselves what we get from this way of thinking. If the answer is "nothing", or at least no relief that lasts, perhaps there's an alternative.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#190220 - 11/06/07 03:24 PM Re: A Friend Forever [Re: roadrunner]
MarkK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/02/07
Posts: 2503
Loc: Denver, CO
yeah - the old "is it serving you" question... Easy answer - no, it is not.

i do believe a large part of this is realizing that as painful as our ditches are, we dug them for a reason, and they served us for a time. but now it's time to climb out of them and walk on level land.

odd - that they can be so painful and yet so comfortable at the same time ...


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#190232 - 11/06/07 04:16 PM Re: A Friend Forever [Re: MarkK]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Mark,

Originally Posted By: MarkK
odd - that they can be so painful and yet so comfortable at the same time ...


Yep - because they are what we know. It always feels safer to take refuge in the familiar, even if it hurts. Our fear tells us that trying to change things could hurt even more.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

Top
#190321 - 11/07/07 08:40 AM Re: A Friend Forever [Re: roadrunner]
MarkK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/02/07
Posts: 2503
Loc: Denver, CO
Originally Posted By: roadrunner
It always feels safer to take refuge in the familiar, even if it hurts. Our fear tells us that trying to change things could hurt even more.

Exactly.

Thanx \:\)

M


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