will some one love me--------------------without the sex stuff-------------------care for me-------------hug me-------------tell me its ok---------------that i matter-------------i dont think i ever got that------------------as a boy-----------------------and its getting harder -------------for me to tell myself these things------------------steve

then my anger comes out

i dont know why i feel like such a ass-------------------------here i am a grown man------------------feeling-------so much like a scared lost boy--------------------

I think we both know why, Steve. I feel the same way a lot of the time, but I think what happened here is our ability to grow emotionally and psychologicall was stolen from us at a young age. When I think about relationships, I think about them like a lost 12 year old kid, and I get scared. I've found, in talking to many of the men on this site, that there are aspects of all of our personalities that got stuck at a young age, and I think we all feel fear because of that.

One thing to keep in mind is that no matter how irrational this fear may seem at times, it's not. This fear is justified, and it's an emotion we have to feel to move forward.

Bryan

thanks bryan-----------this emotiton-----------just feels so bad------------------steve

Post deleted by ttoon

Steve, Dave, Bryan,

This thread has touched me deeply. Not only because of each of your stories, but because that was me for so many years also. Still is to some extent, but I am finding that as I learn to let people into my world and allow myself to be allowed into theirs, that sense of being alone, hurting, and in pain does indeed fade.

There is hope, and it is men like you and the hundreds of other men here that show it to me the most clearly. Thank-you.

Lots of love,

John

Dave-----------maybe thats why i feel so safe by myself------and i stay isolated-------------------John-------------thank you-------------------------------------steve

Too often societies "crap"invades our emotions...like, "I'm a grown man and SHOULDN'T ACT T-H-I-S WAY!!" There are NO>

hey----Howard-------------naw havent given up---------------------------still searching---------------thanks----------------------------steve