Newest Members
cricket1007, Nickie98, jahfree, Daryl X., tryintothrive
12496 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
joeybird (54), ladyinwaiting (46), txpearl (46)
Who's Online
4 registered (L84, 3 invisible), 24 Guests and 5 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
12496 Members
74 Forums
64168 Topics
447773 Posts

Max Online: 418 @ 07/02/12 07:29 AM
Twitter
Page 2 of 3 < 1 2 3 >
Topic Options
#18443 - 11/08/02 12:48 PM Re: Wisdom drain at puplic forum?
The Dean Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 07/15/02
Posts: 2080
Loc: Milwaukee, WI
Hi Muldoon,

I am at my computer at work and I have access to the archives. Are you still having problems accessing the archives from the publ;ic forum?

Bob

_________________________
If we do not live what we believe, then we will begin to believe what we live.

Top
#18444 - 11/08/02 03:55 PM Re: Wisdom drain at puplic forum?
Wuamei Offline
Member

Registered: 08/19/02
Posts: 2700
Loc: The left turn I should have ta...
Richard:

Like Bob, I thank you for the detailed & clear explanation! And I offer my services to do what I can to help us grow and have more influence helping male survivors, including helping those in financial hardship come into membership.

Also I've already noticed people bringing things that are pertinent and are not confidential that are posted in the members forums over into the public forums. I really don't see anything that was in the forums in the old system that couldn't still be there.

Perhaps all we members and administrators just need to be sure to make a habit of doing this as much as possible.

I too had mixed feelings coming into this especially since the controversy was brewing when I first came on site in August. I was concerned about a "split" atmosphere or something. I am convinced that it could be that way (could anyway) but it doesn't have to be!

It seems to me to be the best decision for all considerations and for everyone involved, including the other survivors and the world out there. Just my opinion of course.

We're all still fellow male survivor brothers and all among friends here. At least that's the way I feel about it.

Take care all

Wuame

_________________________
"I can't stand pain. It hurts me."
--Daffy Duck

Top
#18445 - 11/09/02 01:08 PM Re: Wisdom drain at puplic forum?
Thad Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/28/01
Posts: 1752
Loc: Oakland, CA
Richard,
Thanks for the post. There are always pros & cons to any choice we make. The pros I see are that I feel a bit safer knowing that everyone in the member's forum has provided enough personal information that they are no longer a complete unknown - (considering the difficulty unmasking LC - I appreciate knowing you could track an offender) - and I agree that it will encourage membership - please continue to offer free/working memberships

The Cons are that I do feel that it creates a separation - but that is ok for now - we will see how it is used and if it causes a rift - I hope it doesn't since I learn so much from the variety of posts - It doesn't look like it has diminished the number of posts so far.

The one thing I would not like to see, however, is that the chatroom would become restricted - for so many it is the first point of entry for persons making their first effort to reach out - trust issues are high and to require membership would mean many would never get the exposure to that first flush of "I am not alone".

On the whole, it is a balanced choice - let's try it and see how it works.

_________________________
"..this place isn't a discussion forum..it's a portal..." Lupin
"The truth will set you free, but first it will probably piss you off." dwf's AA sponsor.

Top
#18446 - 11/09/02 03:22 PM Re: Wisdom drain at puplic forum?
Roy Offline
Member

Registered: 08/02/02
Posts: 184
Loc: Los Angeles
I mean no offense to any of the moderators or administrators of this valuable organization. It it weren't for your hours of unpaid labor we would not even have such a sanctuary. I find it interesting, however, to note that the only responses in favor of the newly divided forums are moderators and one member to be. Of course you like it this way, you're on the inside. You don't have to be a brain surgeon to figure that out. I would like to hear from some of the non-members about their feelings on the matter. I don't mean to be a pest, I care about this place and think this is an important issue. I will drop it after this post but I do think we need to get the perspective of all concerned. Speak up boys.


Top
#18447 - 11/09/02 03:58 PM Re: Wisdom drain at puplic forum?
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
Roy
My personal view is that I'm split between the two ways, I like the idea of membership - and to gain more members something has to be offered.
Also the security problem is that much better to control.

But I can also see that good, interesting threads might only be availabe on the members forums, which is a shame, but also an encouragement to sign up.

If funds are a problem there's ways around it.
I can't see any real reason regular users dont become members.
Your anonimity and personal security is safe - if not better.

Lloydy

_________________________
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau

Top
#18448 - 11/09/02 05:03 PM Re: Wisdom drain at puplic forum?
Don-NY Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/06/02
Posts: 546
Loc: Long Island, NY
Roy:

Your post indicates that I (the member to be) am in favor of the division in the forums.

I didn't say that. In fact, I said this:
Quote:
So I won't be posting in the other forums when I can. I may read them, but if I see a topic in there I want to respond to, I'll do that here or send a private message as I do now.
If you take my saying "I may read them", as support, you are wrong. If anything, I intend to be a spoiler of sorts and raise interesting topics from private forums in the public ones.

I absolutely feel there has been a schism. I don't know that I would feel that way if I came here for the first time today, but I do know that I would wonder what I was missing out on if I couldn't or wouldn't become a member.

Donald

P.S. I don't like the fact that my name shows up as being on the boards and logged in, and what I have been reading. It just seems so "Big Brother". For now, I keep logging off, and only logging in to make a post.

_________________________
If you understand everything, some things are just as they are. If you understand nothing, things are still just as they are.

Top
#18449 - 11/09/02 05:25 PM Re: Wisdom drain at puplic forum?
Richard Gartner, PhD Offline
Past President
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/20/00
Posts: 404
Loc: New York, NY, USA
Dear Matt and others,

First, the Find a Therapist Resource Directory is open to all and will remain open to all.

It is certainly not our intention to allow survivors' personal information to be open to public scrutiny in any way. I will ask the web master to answer about how information sent to us through the web site is protected. I also ask him to post this protection information on the web site where people join MS/NOMSV so that they can make informed decisions.

But anyone who does not trust the privacy protection of the Internet can become a member by sending their membership information through the regular mail system. Once it reaches our administrator, it would stay private. We do NOT give out our membership list for any reason. As I mentioned above, anyone who does not want to be listed in the Directory that goes out to other members can say so and the information will not be listed.

Regarding your question about asking people to provide proof of age, I think that asking this is too invasive of people's privacy, and also too cumbersome to enforce. The way we protect ourselves from predators masquerading as teens (at least on the Private Forums) is simply by having ways to track them down through the information they do provide when they join.

I hope this answers your questions.

Richard Gartner
President
MaleSurvivor/NOMSV

_________________________
www.richardgartner.com

Top
#18450 - 11/09/02 05:53 PM Re: Wisdom drain at puplic forum?
Wuamei Offline
Member

Registered: 08/19/02
Posts: 2700
Loc: The left turn I should have ta...
Thad:

I haven't really used chat & don't know much about it. But I wonder, if they are needed, if separate chat rooms or times could be scheduled just for members that, like the discussion board set-up, would afford greater safety & yet allow greater openness. Just a thot from a brand new moderator. Worth checking into, maybe?

\:D Wuame

_________________________
"I can't stand pain. It hurts me."
--Daffy Duck

Top
#18451 - 11/09/02 05:54 PM Re: Wisdom drain at puplic forum?
Wuamei Offline
Member

Registered: 08/19/02
Posts: 2700
Loc: The left turn I should have ta...
Roy:

You have a point. But tho I didn't say a lot, I thot that, generally, this change was a good idea when I first heard about it, before I was a moderator or a member. Perhaps becuz I've seen it work so well on other sites I've been active on.

Roy, I'm not saying this sarcastically. But maybe the reason mostly moderators & members have spoken in favor of the change is that we've experienced the member forums, and thus of course both forums, and we see the value & the compatibility of both. At least I do.

For me its not a matter of being on the inside, in a place where others can't come, like some kinda clubhouse or something. It's a matter of being in a place where I am safer to open up more, something I need as I move into the process of disclosure I'm going slowly thru. I cantalk about things there I couldn't in any public forums. At least not yet. Some, maybe never.

Just for the record, I don't think you're being a pest. I think you are sincerely concerned about a site & a group of men you rightly appreciate & love. As we all are. Its our methods not our motives that differ.

And like others I believe me have mixed feelings about it. I know how it feels to be shut out and I don't want anyone to feel that way.

Every male survivor seeking support & recovery has a right to be here at Male Survivor. Every male survivor that wants to be able to say & do more & different things with sufficient safety, and begin a process of discolsure, also has a right to be at Male Survivor and should have a place to do those things, which can't be done on the public forums.

To me this way all male survivors can be better served & accomodated. And, as I am doing, they can come in more anonymously and as they work their recovery, feel they need or want it, and become ready, they can become members.

Again, just my opinion.

\:D Wuame

_________________________
"I can't stand pain. It hurts me."
--Daffy Duck

Top
#18452 - 11/09/02 05:56 PM Re: Wisdom drain at puplic forum?
Wuamei Offline
Member

Registered: 08/19/02
Posts: 2700
Loc: The left turn I should have ta...
Lloydy:

I very much agree with what you're saying. Just some things to point out & thots on the threads, taking off on what you said.

Yes there are some threads even forums that are not available on the public forums, but by necessity--before, these were not available to anybody, period. So in that sense more is being offered to everybody than before. It's just a matter of who wants to take advantage of the new stuff by becoming members.

The only things I see not technically offered on the public boards now are the news, info, classified stuff, if I'm remembering right; the moderator & board of director spots never were available except to those persons.

So far the things I've seen posted in the news etc forums have been brought over to the public forums and discussed here, more than in the member forums in some cases.

Actually, I wonder if there's some good reason that those particular forums can't be in both the public and the member forum areas. I'll check into it.

I, and other members, including administrators, are making a point of bringing over stuff that can be brot over to the public forums.

So far I've not seen anything secret "over there" that wasn't secret "over here."

I chose to become a member, and a moderator, as a step in disclosure and in my own recovery, as well as to give back to Male Survivors, which means all of us!

\:D Wuame

_________________________
"I can't stand pain. It hurts me."
--Daffy Duck

Top
Page 2 of 3 < 1 2 3 >


Moderator:  ModTeam, TJ jeff 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.