the past two weeks have been hell. yeah - i have no T right now. yeah - i'm having the devil's own time finding one. yeah - life sux. and yeah - i'm tired. i've been at the verge of tears too many times without cause. emotions have had their day in the sun.

but i'm also tired of whining. ok, so life sux. so life isn't going to get any better any time soon. i'm becoming one of those people i hate, that does nothing but sit on their butt and moan. if i'm going to complain, it needs to be about my struggles to recover, not my poor tired spirit.

if life sux, life sux. it's still better than the alternative. so i'm going to live it - bad and all. if i never get better, i never get better. at least i'll still be doing SOMETHING.

enough is enough.


M

Mark,

I hope you are able to find a T soon; I know my own was crucial to my recovery and knowing I was seeing her gave me a sense of stability about things in general.

But I also want you to know you are heard and I'm sorry you are in such a bad patch right now. I know how exhausting that can be.

Much love,
Larry

I thought I had - but he didn't live up to his web site promises. Then I thought I had - but he's out of the office at a conference.

: sigh :

Hey Mark,

The thing is...life shouldn't suck...so, if it does for you (and it certainly does for me) then we have to want something better...and that's the part that's hard...having the STRENGTH to get off my ass and do something about it.

Other people don't get it...some feel sorry for me...some are nice...some indifferent...but, at least my wife is patient with me (most days) and wants to help me work on it.

So...please, please don't give up on life being good...it can be for us again...we just have to believe that...and don't kick yourself for being whiny...that's not so bad a thing to do...it really isn't.

You've offered me a lot of help in chat, sometimes with your wonderful dry wit, sometimes with your wisdom, sometimes just by being there and being willing to talk to me. I'm always pleased to see the magenta letters show up.

So, hang tough, man...i do know you are strong enough to hang in there. Let's both look for the day when life is a better place.

I'm with you,
Russ/Rej

Trust, Rusty, Rej

(wait a sec ... Rusty? sorry, dunno how that slipped in there Russ ...)

"strong enough to hang in there"

i'm not sure anymore. first of all, i'm not even sure where "there" is that i'm supposed to be hanging in at.

but as for being willing to talk to you - you still laugh at my almost nonexistant humor. that either means your sick or your REAL sick - how could i turn that down?

(that's a joke, son - a joke I say)

whining isn't a bad thing to do? oh great, another lie from my past i have to overcome. that's sure not the way i heard it growing up...

hang tough? i can't even hang ten ...

thanx for the good words, Russ - it helps some.

see ya on the flip side (in chat)

M

Mark I have ben here you are at for several years . Life is a Shit Sandwitch , You can eat it or starve . I wish that I knew of a way to bring some happyness to my world . Because I would sure send some to you . When you are at the bottom of a pit there is no where to go but up

I have heard that ... except I'm thinking of tunelling straight across until I find either another pit, a cliff, or a way out.

M

Hey Mark,

Just a note to let you know that I am praying for you. I read the post and things are dark right now, but remember the light still shines somewhere. Hang in there.

Army

Beautiful Isle of Somewhere?

i don't like being so down, yet somehow, somewhat - I almost do. It's like it's becoming the "normal" for me. And that in itself is scary.

i think this is the weather that causes one to act out.

M

Mark,



I think we fall into that way of thinking because feeling down has become such familiar territory for us. We "like" the emotional places where we know our way around.

Weather as a cause for acting out: Man, I used to think it was the water, and every place had the same water.

Much love,
Larry