scorpiogurl,

Welcome to Male Survivor and our F&F forum. We have a great group of partners here and I have learned so much from them. You may find sometimes that it takes a bit for people to notice a post, what with work schedules and so on, but hang in there and you will get the support you need.

I am so sorry you had to see someone being abused. I take it this was when you were young. Please don't blame yourself for not saying anything, if this is on your mind. There are a million reasons why that kind of thing can happen.

I can see why you would wonder if you were hurt as well. For exploring this, especially if you have no clear memories, I can't emphasize enough how important it is to be working with a professional therapist. A T will take you through this troubled territory with as little new pain and trauma as possible.

Much love,
Larry

thanks, right i should find a therapist, i dont think so. and after reading some of the things here, who am i to even be here complaining and feeling bad about it

ScorpioGurl,

You cant keep putting it off...the quicker you face it the closer you are to healing. its not quick and its not fun but the end result can change your life forever!

Brian

maybe it happend to you also?

yeah but i only have some scattered memorys of that, nothing really specific, i have more specific memories of what happened to him and after that, then it just seems like, well like a void in time, or something, its hard to explain, i just remember staring up out the window for what seemed like days waiting for the sun to come up. lol i sound crazy, sorry, im not really

Scorpio..

Thats doesnt sound crazy at all. Its sounds familiar. It sounds like those memories are blocked out...in time you will get those memories back and things wont seem so hazy.

Void in time....I totally understand.

Brian

you seem so like oh yeah it happened to me to like oh well? maybe that part of it needs to be addressed more than what happened to him and no way are you crazy ,now me i am crazy so i should know

Minimizing the abuse...that will get you nowhere its something that you have to deal with because alot of your issues will stem from the abuse.

youre crazy? well good that makes me feel better, glad im not the only one! lol how can i address something when i dont even have any details or real memories? ive tried pushing myself to remember something, anything, and when it gets close, well im not ready to really talk about that yet but its like i kind of go away. more craziness lol

Going away...disassociating is what I did...its a tough one. Its something your mind is not ready yet to deal with I would think. I had to work my way backward...then i finally got to the deep down issues and started to get memories back, however ScorpioGurl...thats not something I would do on your own. you need to find a Therapist who specialises in abuse who can help you deal with the issues. The therapist can help guide you in your quest to figure out what has happenned in the past...to fill in the blanks.