Your right. I would love some nice clean play. I would love some nice clean thoughts too. I hate being jaded. I envy innocence. At work, I have a picture of my son when he was 7 as a background on my PC. He is almost 17 now. It is my favorite picture of him because he was at a stage in his life when he was just an innocent young boy. I am overwhelmed with envy.
People that take away that innocence need to be (figuratively speaking) drawn and quartered, shot, hung in the square for public ridicule, shot again, buried alive, dug up alive, slapped about 100 times, and then put in jail and let "bubba", the 350 lb. inmate, be his friend.
After 40 years, I am tired. Very tired. I would dearly like to know the feeling of innocence again. I don't like having been corrupted.
I can't go home again. I try in my mind but it is just a fantasy. And I mean home in the sense of when I was a little boy. Home was good. Summer camp was not.
So I look at my son who grew up so fast and just remember the times when he was that little boy I long to be. I would like it that, when I die, that Heaven would be being 7 forever. Clear mind, clean mind, no tears, and no former memories. God has to have something very good planned. This can't be it.
I wouldn't mind a toy or two myself right now.
I can't believe I wrote this at 52 years old. But I know you understand. That is a great comfort.
[ January 04, 2002: Message edited by: still 12 ]