I was just watching The Matrix, that scene where Neo is sitting in an armchair and Morpheus shows him a red pill and a blue pill. If Neo takes the blue pill, he goes on living his life as Tom Anderson, and can believe whatever he wants to believe about his world. If he takes the red pill, he learns the terrible truth about his reality—that none of it is real—that he’s never even opened his real eyes or moved his real muscles. Some time later, a character, about to betray his friends, asks him, “Don’t you wish you’d taken the blue pill?”

I like my virtual reality sometimes. I like chatting with my parents as if we had no past. I like liking them. I like believing that the terrible things we all did to each other don’t have any impact on now, as if it were a bad novel we all read years ago. I like the moments when I feel free—living in a bubble in the present, no childhood to remember, no lonely old age to fear. It’s a small reality, sometimes--cramped. There’s a lot of creativity that I don’t ever express, a lot of things I don’t want to say…a lot of things I don’t want to know. I burn most of my energy in keeping this world going—being the person I want to be to friends and loved ones. And there’s a lot of darkness echoing beyond the cracks in the walls. I peer into the cracks, then pull away.

Take the blue pill – go on living in your matrix and ignoring the echoes. Forget about justice, truth, and reality—they don’t exist. Just live in a world that’s livable. Believe in what feels best. You were a suburban kid in a typical troubled family. Some bad stuff happened. Does that have to mean anything?

Take the red pill – what now? What’s out there? Is it any more real than the world you left, or just more painful? Something to believe in or fight for? Would you even want to know the real you if you met him? Can you face the horrors? Will someone be there to guide you?

(Yeah...I took the red one. The real back story is I'm gearing up to do a big "my story" post, and am feeling like I don't want to make it more real by posting it.)

I think I took a purple pill, because sometimes the real worldin my life feels so surreal and I'm fighting against all evil in the world. BUT then, back to the real life of my world, I reallize the evil is real and I'm surrounded by the evil and have come out stronger already have faced the evil of abuse. I feel it all, I feel the pain, I feel the joy, I feel the sarrow, I feel the happiest. I am not the ONE!

HUGE Matrix fan!

Hey MV, I lived in the Matrix for twenty years. (love the matrix) Lived without reality for a long time. Worked, lived, played the game. But yet here I am, something was gone and I felt it was time to aknowledge that. It all felt so fake and it was, and now here I am in the "supposedly" real world and it feels just as fake. Yea! Am I really going to feel better, find a soulmate and live happily ever after. Probably not, but if I'm going to live in any world, this is the one I choose. This one has hope.

How'd the Matrix trilogy end anyway MV. love the ending

Stay strong
Mike

Funny how it comes back to faith eh, something so important to so many, but yet here it is back in my face telling me to "just have faith". Just have to give up your common sense and go over to the dark side. The unproven side, hard for sure.

Maybe a little Matrix isn't such a bad thing, I've sure always believed that ignorance is bliss.

Stay strong
Mike

Funny I always hated that movie.

MV you rule. I know just what you mean about gearing up to make a post that makes things more real. And I know what an illusion that is. If only we had the power to control reality - sigh.....

David,

Back in November 2003 I had to choose between the red pill and the blue one. I was talking to my sister Cathie online and suddenly I typed, "Cath, I was molested when I was a kid." I looked at it and wondered what the hell am I doing? Did I dare hit "enter"?

I have often wondered about that moment and the decision I made that Sunday morning. I now see that at some level I could already sense that if I backed off I was going to be living a lie the rest of my life. Since then I have also come to learn that the lie can't protect us from the impact of childhood abuse; the effects are there whether we are willing to look at them or not.

I hit "enter" and Cathie has been my rock ever since. It was rough beyond anything I could have imagined for awhile, but yes, things did get better and they continue to get better now.

I have a sneaking suspicion that by the time we get to choose between the two pills it's already past the moment of decision, simply because deep down inside we already know what the choice is.

Cool thread.

Much love,
Larry

i agree with Larry.

Yep. Me too.

I told my doc about the comparison of my life to the Matrix years ago, I didn't have the opportunity to choose the pill though, i was just ripped out from the Matrix(which I only got to be in for maybe 5yrs) and have been trying to fight to understand why I was chosen since... first to be hurt so much, and second to have to carry this burden now with so little tools, I don't get to control the reality.

I can relate to this.

Peace,
Phillip