no i havent had contact with him in a long time

Have you always been hurt by what you witnessed or are you just starting to think about or have flashbacks of what happened?

Brokensoul.

ive always been very hurt by what i saw and other things, its always bothered me, ive always felt different (hard to explain that) and i know it all has to do with this but i just always keep it hidden, ive tried other online groups but i dont seem to fit in anywhere with anyone, im just so tired of hiding

Can you or do you feel safe trying to contact the person that was abused? I believe you to be a very good hearted person and it is clear that you have been very hurt by what you have seen. Do you have a therapist or do you have access to one.


Brokensoul.

i dont feel safe or right contacting him, its been so many years. ive thought about therapy a million times and i made an appointment once but never went, something always stops me, maybe fear, then i make up an excuse why i dont need to go, then i can forget about all this for a while and everything is fine, but it always rears its ugly head again!

What you have been through is overwhelming and until you get help in sorting it out I'm afraid that it may keep coming up in your thoughts. I hate to ask and please know you are under no pressure to answer. But where you also abused? Like I have said it is ok if you don't want to answer I completely understand.


Brokensoul

Hi Scorpiogurl,


just wanted to say welcome and you've come to the right place.

I am sorry you had to witness a family member being abused. Please know you can express your feelings here and that no-one will judge you. I am sure this has been a massive thing for you to carry over the years.....I once knew a woman who had seen her sister being abused and it had profoundly affected her life, her sexuality, her view of herself as a woman.......I am not surprised you can't keep it in anymore and hope you find some space here to being to release your feelings.



peace
Beccy

Beccy, Thanks for posting I was hoping one of the women in the group would. I was doing the best I could to try to help but I know that you ladys would most likely be more helpful. I think your experience will be of great help. I hope I have not ask the wrong questions and run scorpiogurl off it is clear she need somewhere to turn for help.


Brokensoul

wow i dont know what to say, no you havent run me off, im really surprised that anyones reaching out like this, im not used to talking about this and didnt really expect anyone to reply or understand or even be curious or want to help.

beccy what you said there really hit the nail on the head, i cant address it right now because im feeling overwhelmed, it might not seem like a big deal but to me it is, i mean you pretty much said exactly how i feel but couldnt find the words. or maybe i do have the words but im just afraid to say them. i dont know, wow.