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#183346 - 09/29/07 12:10 PM My--Apology
sabata Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/08/06
Posts: 1948
I have Been In a Very Crappy Mood Latley--------------------Its Like My Adult Has Given Up------------------My Scared Lost Little Boy---------------Is Having A Very Hard Time-----------------------Getting By-----------------Shutting Himself In So Much More Now---------------I Know And Appricate All Of The Support I get Here--------------And All of The Caring People---------------------Its Like I Cant Hear----------------And I Am Shutting Everyone Out---------------------I Am Not Sure Who Is doing this----------------The Adult---------------Or The Scared Boy-----------------------------------Just So Much Hurt----------------------------------------Haa Hes Comming To Take Me Away----------------------------------To The crazey Farm-------------------------Cant Run Any more-----------------No Where To Go----------------------------------Dont Know What To Do??????????????????????------------------------This Being Shut In Is Getting To me----------------------------------But I Dont See Anything Out There For Me-----------------------------------------Guess I need To Find Something In Myself-----------------------To Pick Me Up And Move Foreward----------------------------------Just So You All Know-------------------------I Know I Am Shutting Everyone Out-------------------------Sorry---------------------steve


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#183348 - 09/29/07 12:17 PM Re: My--Apology [Re: sabata]
BJK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/02/07
Posts: 1526
Don't apologize, Steve. You're in this for yourself, right?

You're right, though. Finding something in yourself...that's an important word of advice. I see good inside of you. I see a caring man who has endured much. It's a shame that you'll have to endure more.

But we're still here.

Bryan

_________________________
Revenge is nothing more than another way of perpetuating abuse.

What the world needs now
Is some new words of wisdom
Like la la la la la la la la la.
-David Lowery

Having a friend who will keep a secret for you is worthless compared to a friend who won't keep a secret from you.

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#183363 - 09/29/07 01:05 PM Re: My--Apology [Re: BJK]
sabata Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/08/06
Posts: 1948
when i re read what i wrote it starts to make me cry


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#183364 - 09/29/07 01:05 PM Re: My--Apology [Re: BJK]
TJ jeff Offline

Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/07/04
Posts: 3365
Loc: Northern Wisconsin
(((((Steve)))))

safe gentle hugs my friend

remember my eyes my friend - remember that level of understanding shared between all of us at the weekend as we looked into each others eyes - you ARE worthy of deep friendships - don't listen to the voices of the past

just know you are cared about very deeply - we are here for you - the adult and the child - both need love and support

TJ jeff

_________________________
Who will cry for the little boy? - I will... - Antwone Fisher

Abuse happens in silence/isolation - Recovery happens only when that silence/isolation is broken...

TJ's History

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#183368 - 09/29/07 01:08 PM Re: My--Apology [Re: TJ jeff]
sabata Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/08/06
Posts: 1948
thanks bryan---jeff----------------think i will go and try and cry for myself now--------------------steve


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#183380 - 09/29/07 01:20 PM Re: My--Apology [Re: sabata]
TJ jeff Offline

Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/07/04
Posts: 3365
Loc: Northern Wisconsin
tears is ok - we need to allow ourselves that release

_________________________
Who will cry for the little boy? - I will... - Antwone Fisher

Abuse happens in silence/isolation - Recovery happens only when that silence/isolation is broken...

TJ's History

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#183436 - 09/29/07 03:46 PM Re: My--Apology [Re: TJ jeff]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Steve,

Don't hold back the tears, bro. But know also that you're loved and appreciated by your brothers here. Whatever it is, feel free to talk about it here if you feel you can do that.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#183442 - 09/29/07 04:26 PM Re: My--Apology [Re: roadrunner]
testingWaters Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/19/06
Posts: 508
steve -- after everything you have said in the past few weeks, and after everything alta did for you, why *wouldn't* you feel that way right now? from what you wrote and said afterwards, ALTA totally floored you (and it did me too) and allowed you to open up and feel within a community of other people. it is almost like you are just saying that now, when you feel like you do today, you *know* you are doing it. that you *know* it is possible to live differently. of course that'll make you feel terrible when you go back to old ways of coping. but it takes so long, so much work and so much practice to learn new ways of being and stay with them. even this post is an awesome step Steve. You are still doing great. Really, really great. PM if you want. TW


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#183451 - 09/29/07 05:17 PM Re: My--Apology [Re: testingWaters]
FormerTexan Offline
Site Administrator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 09/12/04
Posts: 11055
Loc: Denver, CO
Steve,

I'm not sure I can add much to what has already been said. Just know you are among friends here, and we can sure relate. I've been in that mood lately myself and looking for a way to climb out of it. PM me anytime, we'll talk.

Andy

_________________________
List of things ain't nobody got time for:

1. That


If I could meet myself as a boy...

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