I have Been In a Very Crappy Mood Latley--------------------Its Like My Adult Has Given Up------------------My Scared Lost Little Boy---------------Is Having A Very Hard Time-----------------------Getting By-----------------Shutting Himself In So Much More Now---------------I Know And Appricate All Of The Support I get Here--------------And All of The Caring People---------------------Its Like I Cant Hear----------------And I Am Shutting Everyone Out---------------------I Am Not Sure Who Is doing this----------------The Adult---------------Or The Scared Boy-----------------------------------Just So Much Hurt----------------------------------------Haa Hes Comming To Take Me Away----------------------------------To The crazey Farm-------------------------Cant Run Any more-----------------No Where To Go----------------------------------Dont Know What To Do??????????????????????------------------------This Being Shut In Is Getting To me----------------------------------But I Dont See Anything Out There For Me-----------------------------------------Guess I need To Find Something In Myself-----------------------To Pick Me Up And Move Foreward----------------------------------Just So You All Know-------------------------I Know I Am Shutting Everyone Out-------------------------Sorry---------------------steve

Don't apologize, Steve. You're in this for yourself, right?

You're right, though. Finding something in yourself...that's an important word of advice. I see good inside of you. I see a caring man who has endured much. It's a shame that you'll have to endure more.

But we're still here.

Bryan

when i re read what i wrote it starts to make me cry

(((((Steve)))))

safe gentle hugs my friend

remember my eyes my friend - remember that level of understanding shared between all of us at the weekend as we looked into each others eyes - you ARE worthy of deep friendships - don't listen to the voices of the past

just know you are cared about very deeply - we are here for you - the adult and the child - both need love and support

TJ jeff

thanks bryan---jeff----------------think i will go and try and cry for myself now--------------------steve

tears is ok - we need to allow ourselves that release

Steve,

Don't hold back the tears, bro. But know also that you're loved and appreciated by your brothers here. Whatever it is, feel free to talk about it here if you feel you can do that.

Much love,
Larry

steve -- after everything you have said in the past few weeks, and after everything alta did for you, why *wouldn't* you feel that way right now? from what you wrote and said afterwards, ALTA totally floored you (and it did me too) and allowed you to open up and feel within a community of other people. it is almost like you are just saying that now, when you feel like you do today, you *know* you are doing it. that you *know* it is possible to live differently. of course that'll make you feel terrible when you go back to old ways of coping. but it takes so long, so much work and so much practice to learn new ways of being and stay with them. even this post is an awesome step Steve. You are still doing great. Really, really great. PM if you want. TW

Steve,

I'm not sure I can add much to what has already been said. Just know you are among friends here, and we can sure relate. I've been in that mood lately myself and looking for a way to climb out of it. PM me anytime, we'll talk.

Andy