do you think he hears our prayers? do you think he really cares?is that god waiting at the top of the stairs?or did he forget me and leave me to die? where is god ,when children cry? dont mean to offend if god is your friend,but me and god kinda reached the end. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rQySgbCIklk i'm not asking for a miracle god not asking much at all .just let me out of this hell . shadow

[[[[[[[ Shadow }}}}}}}}}}

Tom

Shadow,

I've never *given* anyone a hug before. I've only been the recipient.

This is hard for me to even type, given I'm a guy who doesn't even like to be touched.

With your permission, I'd like to give you one. Is that okay?

If not, I'll understand.

Bryan

No offense taken Adam. You're still my friend.

Andy

SHADOW...

He's your friend too... whether you're angry at Him or not.

He's not offended.


Mike <><

Shadow... you dont have to believe in god... have you ever researched other beliefs?

You have control of your life not god. Sorry you are hurting so bad buddy.

I accept you and, to an extent, offer my love to you as a fellow survivor.

My religion teaches me to accept truth wherever we find it, and to respect others beliefs concerning these bigger important questions.

whatever you decide, at least know this. We here at Male Survivor support you, and respect you, and we do not judge you.

Keep reaching for the light, and the hell you are in will be illuminated, this will seem like things are getting worse, because you finally see the hell you are in for what it really is. But actually, it means things are getting better and you are finally empowered to make change.

Such a hard question.. did he here our pleas for help when the abuse was taking place??... If he did, why did he did nothing about it... and why not now?
I just watched "Forrest Gump"... Lt. Dan finally made peace with God.. yeah, OK... I got my life fucked, and "I" need to need to make peace with "God". Sure, sign me up...

"For he looks over the sparrow, surely God looks over me'????

Shadow my friend,

I have asked myself so many of the same questions you are asking now, and the problemss you are struggling with are ones I recognize so clearly from my own past - and present. When I lived in San Francisco I remember the little missions in the Castro set up to "save" messed-up kids like me. I would sometimes go into one to pray that I wouldn't be beaten as bad tonight as I was last night, or if I was going to get beaten again before the "main event", please let the abuser just finish me. I thought it was so little to ask.

I told myself a long time ago that I wasn't going to lie to myself anymore, or to others. So Adam I can't say I have any answer for you. I just don't know on this one, not for myself or for you or anyone else. I'm happy for those who have the security of their faith and I wish I did too - but I don't.

What I have found, on the other hand, is that my life is good and has been worth fighting for. I am completely and totally convinced there is no such a thing as a worthless boy, an irredeemable young man, or an utterly lost survivor, although at various times in my life I have considered myself all those things.

Sometimes we just have to hang on through a bad patch Adam, though we don't know why we are doing it, or even what we are hanging on to. One thing that helps me is to know I'm not alone and that if I cry out others will hear me and understand.

So hang in there bro, you're not alone. It does get better.

Much love,
Larry

Hi,

I know it's always tough to know if God really is your friend, especially when such horrible things have happened to you. I won't ditch my faith, though, simply because He doesn't always seem to come through for me the way I'd like Him to. I'll be the first to say I don't know what He's doing.
Sometimes I'm not even sure why I'm here, or if anyone loves me at all, even Him. Still, God has been there for me (I believe) when others were not, especially when my parents, or my 'friends' let me down, or abused me, or acted like I didn't exist.
So say what you want -- the real jerks are the ones who did wrong things, made wrong choices. Though I might want God to strike people down before they can hurt a child, that usually doesn't happen. Does that make God a sadist? No. He simply won't interfere with human choices, no matter how awful those decisions might be. And sometimes the greatest miracle is that I do consider God my friend, even when I don't feel like He is.

Ed