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#183027 - 09/28/07 01:02 AM good
Jarrad Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/27/06
Posts: 1071
Loc: arizona
am i a good person? what makes a person good? do you think you are good? does it matter? why is good, good? why do people stive to be it? does it make them feel better? who sets the standards? is my defintion the same as yours?


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#183029 - 09/28/07 01:14 AM Re: good [Re: Jarrad]
shadowkid Offline
WARNING from ModTeam, September 2013: user "Shadowkid" was exposed as a hoaxer. His entire online persona and stories of sexual abuse were fiction. We encourage you not to become emotionally concerned by anything you see in any of his posts. Thank you
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/18/05
Posts: 2437
the only opinion that really matters is yours dude ,if you think your good who gives a rats ass what anybody else thinks you know?

_________________________
its not hard to fall
when you float like a cannonball - damien rice

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#183030 - 09/28/07 01:16 AM Re: good [Re: shadowkid]
Jarrad Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/27/06
Posts: 1071
Loc: arizona
well thats why i ask. because what if your opinion of yourself sucks? can you feed off of how others think of you?


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#183033 - 09/28/07 01:20 AM Re: good [Re: Jarrad]
VN Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/03/05
Posts: 723
Jarrad,

I think, there is going to be different definitions, different standerds, between all the people here. Just as there is different opinions of what 'forgive' mean here. I think, you can see different standerds, whether it is 'legal', 'religious', cultural. What is acceptable in say, some African tribal culture, would be considered not acceptable in U.S. What is acceptable to a non-relgious person (something such as sexual relationship outside of marriage) maybe would not be in a religious person. And of course, what is criminal to one set of legal standard is maybe acceptable in another country.

I think for me, there is differences even of whether you are speaking of a person or a thing to be 'good'. What is 'good' book to me, or music to me, someone else maybe would not like. That is how fluid I think the word is.

I try to think on myself as a good person because of the harm I have perhaps done to people, it is not been my choice to do so; I have not done it to enjoy to inflict pain, and what little I have done to perhaps cause hurt to another person, it is been 'defensive', not offensive. But would a more good, a better person, not have even caused that hurt at all? I do not know. I have broke the law, but I do not think I am a 'bad' person due to that. I have broke religious beliefs, but as I am not religious myself anyway, again, do that make me bad? I do not know.

I am sorry, I think instead of to answer your question, I cause more. I will have to think more on this.

VN


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#183038 - 09/28/07 01:40 AM Re: good [Re: VN]
WalkingSouth Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 16264
Jarrad,


Adam has a point. Your opinion of yourself is very important. probably the most important one of all.

I truly believe there are times in our life though when we need to depend on others for our sense of self worth because ours is so low that we cannot believe in ourselves. The problem with that comes in when it seems that no one else believes in us so it becomes a big vicious downward spiral. Hard to break out of.

I've seen it said here a number of times in the past something like "Please believe in yourself but if you find you cannot then believe in my belief in you." I think statements like that are what makes this place what it is?

John

_________________________
“Life’s journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting ‘Holy ____…! What a ride!’” ~Hunter S. Thompson

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#183109 - 09/28/07 09:40 AM Re: good [Re: WalkingSouth]
Jarrad Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/27/06
Posts: 1071
Loc: arizona
vn, more questions are okay. i think a lot of it has to do with cultural and religous stuff too. you're rihgt.

john, you said "I've seen it said here a number of times in the past something like "Please believe in yourself but if you find you cannot then believe in my belief in you." I think statements like that are what makes this place what it is?"

yeah im guessing that maybe that's how the site should work. but really, it has limitations. like if i really had a problem or needed someone here, what support could you all give other than conversation. so really, because of that, how can i trust that you all believe in me? and really, how many of you all do? it seems its easier to hate me here then believe in me. i get a lot of shit here. and can my own self image change by what you all think about me? i doubt it.



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#183167 - 09/28/07 01:45 PM Re: good [Re: Jarrad]
kellygtx Offline
Guest

Registered: 07/11/07
Posts: 412
Loc: Texas, USA
Jarrad -

One caviat - "First, do no harm." Take of on the Hippocratic oath. And if doing what you are doing respects that rule for yourself and those involved, then good is what you make of it.



Edited by kellygtx (09/28/07 01:58 PM)
_________________________
I bid you Peace.

Kelly

The time is always NOW. Breath In. Breath Out. Move On.

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#183526 - 09/30/07 09:06 AM Re: good [Re: kellygtx]
dannym Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/24/07
Posts: 543
Loc: Boulder, Colorado
Man-o-Man, Jarrad - you never ask easy questions, do you? Good for you!

I think we are social animals... we may tell ourselves we don't care about what others think of us, but for most of us, it is very important. That is even more important here, because we are opening ourselves to these men and saying..."here are my darkest secrets, my most awful memories, my most scary thoughts... am I still a worthwhile person?"

You get a lot of shit... granted. But you also provoke people with your honesty and your candor... you challenge people, and that is sometimes scary - but I applaud you.

Hate you? I know, for me, that is far from the truth... Believe in you? Oh,yeah. I believe you will tell me I'm full of shit, but if I needed a shoulder, you'd be there -

A good person does his best... he tries to do no harm... he tries to do what he thinks is right... he recognizes when he fails and he tries to do better... make changes... help others... help himself.

I think you fit those criteria to a T, and I, for one, am very glad you are a member...

Dan


PS... there are always limitations in every situation... but if you accept those and strive to make connections regardless of them, isn't that a "good" thing?

_________________________
"You should listen to your heart, and not the voices in your head."

Marge Simpson

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#183544 - 09/30/07 11:27 AM Re: good [Re: dannym]
Jarrad Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/27/06
Posts: 1071
Loc: arizona
thanks dan \:\)


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#183548 - 09/30/07 11:54 AM Re: good [Re: Jarrad]
shadowkid Offline
WARNING from ModTeam, September 2013: user "Shadowkid" was exposed as a hoaxer. His entire online persona and stories of sexual abuse were fiction. We encourage you not to become emotionally concerned by anything you see in any of his posts. Thank you
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/18/05
Posts: 2437
hey lets not forget that you also give a lot of shit here right?lol. yes? you speak your mind even when it might sometimes be better to stay quiet .or sugar coat your responses.hate you ?anybody that hates a guy for being honest is the one with the problem. i belive in you, sometimes we might not agree and sometimes it like you kinda forget the other guy has feelings . but you dont just say what people wanna hear,you speak your mind with honesty ,you are a formidable foe to anybody that does you wrong ,you are a fighter for what you believe in .i respect that .also i think sometimes the hate we percieve comming from others is really the hate we have for ourselves.its almost like if a guy gets to close you maybe got to push him away especialy if its a straight guy. i wont say we are best buds ,i tried to and you didnt agree ,maybe your afraid to be liked? maybe people treated you like shit for so long anything else just dont feel right? i belive in you and it would be a loss to ms as a whole if you ever left. i think the one person on earth that you should give a break and try to be little nicer to ,is jarrad. heh also when we act together as friends instead of enemies? dude it throws the balance of the whole world out whack!!! lol i think its cool we can be friends and i love to watch the whole world go jarrad and adam ?wow somethings not right in the universe!lol

_________________________
its not hard to fall
when you float like a cannonball - damien rice

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