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#182671 - 09/27/07 07:58 AM A Quest for Better
sweet-n-sour Offline
Member

Registered: 10/03/06
Posts: 409
Loc: chicago
Here's the thing that struck me yesterday morning... going to therapy is helpful, but how can we totally rely on one person to guide us out of this mess that both husband and I seem to be in right now? How can one person help us combat horrible patterning from the abusive childhoods both husband and I experienced?
One person can help, but it is up to us, BOTH of us to do the work, to learn, to grow and find better. Therapist can not be a miracle worker unless we are willing to dig deep, read books, consider all avenues of possibility.
I went to the library yesterday and checked out a variety of books. One focus was on how to deal with children who definitely know how to push limits. There is a LOT of anger taking residence here right now. The way I see it, how can we overcome and have better if we do not have the skills to impliment peace? How do we raise well adjusted children if we lack the background to do this?
I feel it's all about recognizing a different way and changing ourselves to live a better way.
I had been feeling very down and out regarding the whole situation here.
I checked out a variety of books on relationships. Maybe D will read them, maybe not. I do know that change can begin with an attitude shift of one person. I can be that person!
All I know is that I can't go on living in an angry tainted atmosphere. I had that growing up and I do not desire for any further chaos. I can't do anything about other people here but I can begin with the person that stares back at me in the mirror each day.
I know her well, she's a card...a character...a person who enjoys life and fun. She is strong, full of determination and also one to always seek a better understanding of life and a positive direction.

S-n-S

_________________________
"As long as he continues to try, I will meet him in that determination and commitment."

cm 2007

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#182707 - 09/27/07 09:38 AM Re: A Quest for Better [Re: sweet-n-sour]
violet Offline
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Registered: 08/13/07
Posts: 118
Loc: US
Originally Posted By: sweet-n-sour

All I know is that I can't go on living in an angry tainted atmosphere. I had that growing up and I do not desire for any further chaos. I can't do anything about other people here but I can begin with the person that stares back at me in the mirror each day.


This is so true. I am confronted with so much right now, it is overwhelming. Baby steps, right?

Hang in there. Happy reading.

V.

_________________________
I was silent as a child, and silenced as a young woman; I am taking my lumps and bumps for being a big mouth, now, but usually from those whose opinion I don't respect. - Sandra Cisneros

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#182711 - 09/27/07 09:44 AM Re: A Quest for Better [Re: violet]
Trish4850 Offline
BoD Liaison Emeritus
MaleSurvivor<

Registered: 10/15/05
Posts: 3280
Loc: New Jersey
Quote:
I can't do anything about other people here but I can begin with the person that stares back at me in the mirror each day.
I know her well, she's a card...a character...a person who enjoys life and fun. She is strong, full of determination and also one to always seek a better understanding of life and a positive direction.


Absofreakinlutely! All of us need to remember this, even though it's hard at times not to let outside influences affect the way we do or don't take care of ourselves.

Thanks for the reminder.

ROCK ON.......Trish


_________________________
If you fall down 10 times, Stand up 11.

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#182719 - 09/27/07 09:56 AM Re: A Quest for Better [Re: Trish4850]
savemyfam Offline
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Registered: 07/17/07
Posts: 144
Loc: Chicago
I know her well, she's a card...a character...a person who enjoys life and fun. She is strong, full of determination and also one to always seek a better understanding of life and a positive direction.

AMEN SISTER !!!!!

Alot of work - yes - but your strentgh and character makes all the difference in the world. Yes it is you that you can change and work on, I'm told that once your partner see's the changes in you that they usually want to follow..........

You have the strength and wisdom to do what needs to be done my friend - I have faith in you!!!!!

Angie

_________________________
God has a plan for me, I trust in God's plan.

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#182723 - 09/27/07 10:08 AM Re: A Quest for Better [Re: sweet-n-sour]
ptsdwife Offline
Guest

Registered: 08/25/07
Posts: 45
Good Morning S-n-S,

I actually has been in a quest since all this started 3 month a go more then anything I been looking for peace in my heart and Monday I when to a praying group/healing service and they pray over me and I felt wonderfull ... Uplifted ... renew... I know not everyone believes but I do!!! the way I feel if awsome.
I been down, you know, because you been there for me and I hope the way I feel right now stays because I can deal with anything right now it's like bring it on .... God its with me and he will take us to victory.
your friend M


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#182757 - 09/27/07 11:57 AM Re: A Quest for Better [Re: ptsdwife]
sweet-n-sour Offline
Member

Registered: 10/03/06
Posts: 409
Loc: chicago
Hi Violet, Trish, Angie & PTSDWife:

Thanks for your words of encouragement. I have this thing I do with my cell phone. I try to find one new positive that I've learned each day that has helped me grow in a better direction and place it in my notes within the memory of the phone. Since I have my phone with me all the time, I often refer back to what I've figured out. I have several from the first book that I'm just about finished reading.
WE all need to figure out what works best for us and use this as our compass to find direction. Ignoring, running from, avoiding...will not change what is...not for me, not for husband, not for our children. I truly wish for each and every one of us to find something to appreciate every single day. A thought, a photograph, a joke, a quote, the one toothed smile of a baby...just a simple thing about life and place that within your personal diary for the day. (your memory, your phone log, whatever.) At the end of a year I suspect we will all have richness beyond imagining if we truly take the time to see it, yes?
Well, I've got to go. I have five more books to read and a garage to finish cleaning out.
Best wishes and thanks for your comments, support and friendship.
S-n-S





Edited by sweet-n-sour (09/27/07 11:58 AM)
_________________________
"As long as he continues to try, I will meet him in that determination and commitment."

cm 2007

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