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#182740 - 09/27/07 10:56 AM Non supportive sibling
testingWaters Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/19/06
Posts: 508
I haven't seen my older Sister in 15 months. Long story short -- I told her my dad has abused me. Not surprisingly, in retrospect, she freaked out and our relationship went haywire. After some months out of touch and some angry phone calls, we have made some gains.

Today she is coming to visit and I'm spooked. She has come around to a point of tentative support but always maintains that she "has no way to know what really happened." IE my dad plays totally sweet and naive with her and she falls for it. What kid doesn't want to believe their dad is innocent.

So I keep getting the same advice: you can't ask her to "pick" between you and your dad. And I guess that's the hard truth. But I have no idea how to be around her and be true to myself. I am not asking her to "pick" -- I am asking her to believe me and do what she will with it. If she wants to have a relationship with my dad, I could care less. But it is still maddening, terrifying and hurtful to have someone I love be manipulated by my dad and to have that draw a wedge between us.

On the flipside, when my mother visited, I had a really intense flashback and it was incredible that I was able to tell her what was going on, that she listened, understood and was able to be kind and understanding.

Advice, anyone on how to deal?


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#182754 - 09/27/07 11:45 AM Re: Non supportive sibling [Re: testingWaters]
sweet-n-sour Offline
Member

Registered: 10/03/06
Posts: 409
Loc: chicago
Dear TestingWaters:

I hope you don't mind but I sent you a PM regarding this.

Best wishes,
S-n-S

_________________________
"As long as he continues to try, I will meet him in that determination and commitment."

cm 2007

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