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#182343 - 09/25/07 08:26 PM self cutting
thecoopstah Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/19/04
Posts: 589
Loc: massachusetts
For the first time(since i have been sober since 2002) i cut myself today twice and i have no idea why i did this yet confused and terrified with fear and yet again i really don't know why....i know this is not normal behavior.

I did however tell my T and Dr who both asked me why and still i have have no clue.....i'm bewildered,afraid,scared of this self cutting ...what do i do i can't keep doing this ......i'm hurting myself now not only emotionally but psychically.....the turmoil going on inside of me is getting to much to bear....


Coop

_________________________
" You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have "

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#182345 - 09/25/07 08:28 PM Re: self cutting [Re: thecoopstah]
mmac Offline
Guest

Registered: 09/21/07
Posts: 107
Loc: PA
Dear Coop,
Please do not do that. Take a deep breath and slowly let it out.
I am going to hug you if its okay?

_________________________
"Insanity is doing the same thing over and over, and expecting different results."

I cannot take your steps, but I can walk beside you, if you'll let me.

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#182352 - 09/25/07 08:43 PM Re: self cutting [Re: mmac]
brokensoul Offline
Guest

Registered: 08/28/07
Posts: 101
I have someone close to me that use to cut themselves. I was there when their T recommended for them to dip their hands and arms into a bucket of ice water any time they felt the need to cut themselves. The T said that this will have the same effect on the mind as cutting without physical harm. Ask your T about this see what they recommend. But I can say it seemed to work for them.


Please take care.

Brokensoul


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#182356 - 09/25/07 08:56 PM Re: self cutting [Re: thecoopstah]
MusicMan Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 11/23/03
Posts: 144
Loc: Elmira, NY
Dear Coopstah,

I believe that you did already identify why you cut yourself. Your last line said, "the turmoil going on inside of me is getting too much to bear". There is a certain stressor or stressors that are going on in your life that you perceive as being beyond your control. The self-cutting is your pressure valve to give you relief and escape from reality.

I can say this from experience. I have been exactly where you are. I know the feelings, or, should I say, shutting the feelings down and escaping. I feel really bad for you because I know the road that that self-destructive took me down.

I don't know where you are in your recovery, but, apparently, you either hit a major roadblock or you are dealing with something that is too painful to identify out loud.

You need to dig down into your soul and identify what the stressors are, name them and take a break from them. I am sure that it is stuff either directly associated with or exacerabated by CSA. Slow down! The cutting involves adrenaline, energy and a break from reality. Stay in reality. Talk to people. Slow your pace down to get rid of that "rush". I am not going to say "just stop" because that is easier said than done.

Be good to you. Do it right now, right now. I don't know how many people or things that you are involved with, but take a break from them. Go take a walk and pick some flowers instead. Cry on someone's shoulder. It's good for you. If you are working or going to school, take a day off. Take - a - break. Clear your mind. It's time, right now.

I wish you the very best, my friend. I want to see you get well. I have walked a mile in your shoes. Please let me know how you make out.

God bless,
John, The Music Man.


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#182382 - 09/25/07 10:10 PM Re: self cutting [Re: MusicMan]
thecoopstah Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/19/04
Posts: 589
Loc: massachusetts
At this point who knows what i'll do or say or even turnout as a result i am clueless to all thats going on and feeling numb is all i want these days.


Coop

_________________________
" You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have "

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#182430 - 09/26/07 08:52 AM Re: self cutting [Re: thecoopstah]
kellygtx Offline
Guest

Registered: 07/11/07
Posts: 412
Loc: Texas, USA
Coop -

My friend - STOP! Reach out, do anything - but don't go down that dead end.

I know - I could do it in ways and places no one knew about. It started on my hands and arms and but that was not enough…I had to see it on the inside of my legs. Seeing it brought me right back to the bedroom when I was 10 – seeing the blood and thinking I was going to die. It was the first time I would bleed like that – and the rush it gave me was something out of this world. That’s why it was my “drug” of choice. The sting, the euphoria, and the sight of the “red tears” (as I have come to call them) seemed to make me feel better – a pressure valve.

I say this not to excite you but to warn you – this is an awful addiction – every bit as powerful as drugs, alcohol, or sex. It is just another self-destructive coping skill that we have. It is so easy to get lost in and feel the numbness. But you know what – the pain returns, along with more self-hate, loathing, and sadness…such profound sadness. You make all those promises – and you have every intention of keeping – only to slip back into the sea of misery. Don’t start. If you are thinking about it or doing it and want to talk, just PM me and know that you are not alone and are not crazy – and that you can stop – I have not cut myself since December of 2006.

(((((thecoopstah)))))

_________________________
I bid you Peace.

Kelly

The time is always NOW. Breath In. Breath Out. Move On.

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#182436 - 09/26/07 09:20 AM Re: self cutting [Re: kellygtx]
kellygtx Offline
Guest

Registered: 07/11/07
Posts: 412
Loc: Texas, USA
Here is just a large list of things you can do besides self injury. If you feel the urge coming on, there are many, many things you can do instead of self injuring. Below is just the tip of the iceberg of things you can do. This was taken from a web site I visit often.

Go to SLEEP (I've used this a lot...just went to bed the hell with everything else, at the time the most important thing was for me NOT to cut)
Leave the room- just go out, anywhere
Call a friend/IM a friend/See a friend (seeing best, calling second, IM if you can't do the other two)
Email counselor/Call counselor
Exercise (great way to get out that frustrated energy)
Write
Watch a movie or TV
Come here and get support
Turn on the radio (dance around if you want to...like me)
Go into a room with someone else in it....if you live with someone else like me
Play games....free-cell, or other stuff
Write letters to people
Take a SHOWER! or a bath
Curl up into a little ball on the floor and try not to move...try to make myself as small as possible...that helps sometimes...lol, sounds crazy though
SING!!!
Play video games, violent ones foe when I'm frustrated or angry
Practice my guitar 9 keeps my hands busy, and is very relaxing)
Reading comics ( of the funny kind, Calvin and Hobbes is AWESOME)
Play with my daughter, or take a nap with her
Talk to my husband, or friend
Take a hot bath or shower, somehow getting clean helps
Meditation
Yoga, my newest interest has been working wonders
Get a list of ways to annoy people, go to the mall, and try to do as many as possible... I've yet to do this, but I plan to sometime...
See how many pieces you can rip a piece of paper into
Count something....
Try to figure out new stupid human tricks (like tongue tricks and things to do with your eyes.... I can finally move my eyes in two seperate directions... though it kinda tires out the muscles....)
Fold a paper into a triangle and figure out how to shoot it from your face (I figured out one way... that's not actually inside my mouth)
Teach myself something new
Draw
clean
write
journal
create art
rearrange the apartment
think of things for the gallery
Tearing up magazines is great
Punching something (not hard things that are gonna mess up your hand, though)
Go driving (only if you are safe!!!)
Go to the library
Try to see if you can hold perfectly still and count how long you last
Paint your nails
Look back on old photo's but not ones that are depressing
Eat, mainly junkfood hehe, not exactly healthy
Try to lighten your mood, go try to find some friends and hang out with them
Go to Second Chances
Play with pet if you have on ( don't you dare play with it's claws!!!)
Listen to music
Write poems or stories or in scrapbook
Cry
Cuddle up with the dog - Until she tries to lick you to death, then kick her outta your room man!!!
Deep breathing exercises
Go jogging or to the gym
Look through magazines and cut out pictures (stick in journal)
Talk to my parents (if there's no other option)
Computer
Homework
Shop
Annoy my family, yell, scream, interrupt them , dance, be an idiot
Stretch
Clean, sort out cupboards, drawers, clothes etc. get rid of old stuff. re-organize. move things around. change my room around (i.e. furniture)
Stick posters all over my walls (and ceiling) or if there are some there, take them down, put new ones up
The other day I made a friendship bracelet and then I did some French knitting
Sewing (i don't but it's an idea for those who can actually sew)
Think about all the shit that will happen if i start cutting again

_________________________
I bid you Peace.

Kelly

The time is always NOW. Breath In. Breath Out. Move On.

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#182446 - 09/26/07 10:12 AM Re: self cutting [Re: kellygtx]
thecoopstah Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/19/04
Posts: 589
Loc: massachusetts
I wish it was that simple......it's not....i can't promise myself therefore i know i cant promise others either i won't act on this behavior


Coopstah


"Cutting" seems to bring me to a place i can really see myself hurting and the kinife is only the "tool" to bring it ( the blood and tears through pain)to the surface.....i'll stop when the pain,whatever pain that is, becomes great enough otherwise who knows....

_________________________
" You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have "

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#182448 - 09/26/07 10:15 AM Re: self cutting [Re: kellygtx]
thecoopstah Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/19/04
Posts: 589
Loc: massachusetts
My fiancee went to bed at 10pm and was up at 230 last night and only dozed off around 6AM and had to be up for work at 745AM i know she's worried and i told her this,this morning " i know i worry you and i'm sorry".....who knows i know i'm stressing her yet she seems to be holding it together....i'm so fuckin scattered and filled with pain

Coop

_________________________
" You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have "

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#182452 - 09/26/07 10:24 AM Re: self cutting [Re: thecoopstah]
caointeoir Offline
Member

Registered: 05/26/06
Posts: 37
coopstah. i hear you. i'm with you. i won't tell you to stop, i can't myself. everything you said i could have said myself. don't promise anyone anything. don't do anything beause anyone else said.

i don't get how you others can say 'please don't do it', as if it would make any difference. if we could stop to make someone else happy, don't you think we would? sometimes this is the only thing that helps, the only way to feel SOMETHING, the only way to embrace the pain, else you can't do anything else but just go nuts.

kelly, if i could, mentally and physically, do any of these things, i would. but i can't.

coop, i don't have an answer, i don't even have anything to say for real. i'm just with you there.


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#182454 - 09/26/07 10:35 AM Re: self cutting [Re: caointeoir]
kellygtx Offline
Guest

Registered: 07/11/07
Posts: 412
Loc: Texas, USA
Coop and Caointeoir -

I am not talking to you as someone who does not know the pain and anger you feel. I am speaking as someone who made all those empty promisies to stop for 35 years.

I have the scars on my hands, legs, and butt to prove it.

I threw away blood stained underwear, bleached floors, and made up lies so no one would find out. I am speaking from experience when I say this is a wicked, wicked addiction that you have to reach out and get help with.

PM me, I was there, I know how you feel. Guys, please, PLEASE don't do that - I CARE about you and don't want you to go down my path - because it is a path to no where. I know what the sting feels like and the relief it gives - but that is only replaced by feeling worse later.

I am here for you.

_________________________
I bid you Peace.

Kelly

The time is always NOW. Breath In. Breath Out. Move On.

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#182455 - 09/26/07 10:46 AM Re: self cutting [Re: kellygtx]
kellygtx Offline
Guest

Registered: 07/11/07
Posts: 412
Loc: Texas, USA
God damn I feel so bad...for all of us! I wish I was with you to help you...to help us. How in the hell could we feel that cutting ourselves would be an answer to anything? I feel so much more shame and guilt about this cutting myself then I do about anything sexual I ever did. These posts are killing me!! Fucking killing me!!



Edited by kellygtx (09/26/07 10:46 AM)
_________________________
I bid you Peace.

Kelly

The time is always NOW. Breath In. Breath Out. Move On.

Top
#182456 - 09/26/07 10:48 AM Re: self cutting [Re: kellygtx]
caointeoir Offline
Member

Registered: 05/26/06
Posts: 37
i'm not lying about it. i tell anyone who asks me about the scars. i wear them, don't hide them.

i stood bleeding in the room and literally screamed 'help me' and all i got was empty confusion, even anger ('why do you do this?'). i did sex, heroin, therapy, antidepressants, tai ji, psychiatrists, group therapy, hormone checks and i'm still nowhere. just nowhere. i'm just somehow at an end. i don't know what else to do.

i guess i'm hijacking coop's thread now... i'm sorry. this pushes my buttons i guess. i'm out for now.

edit: kelly, sorry about that too. probably not the smartest way to come out of hiding from my side. i'm sorry.



Edited by caointeoir (09/26/07 10:51 AM)

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#182457 - 09/26/07 10:54 AM Re: self cutting [Re: caointeoir]
kellygtx Offline
Guest

Registered: 07/11/07
Posts: 412
Loc: Texas, USA
caointeoir -

Brother I understand - I was in that same room - and I was no where. But you know what, you can take little steps back from no where. Here is a web site called second chance that deals only with self-cutting.

http://www.angelfire.com/bc3/secondchance/

Please, PLEASE don't give up or give in - just for this second, then a minute, then an hour, then a day, then a week, then a month. You can do it - a second at a time.

I love you!!

_________________________
I bid you Peace.

Kelly

The time is always NOW. Breath In. Breath Out. Move On.

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#182459 - 09/26/07 11:10 AM Re: self cutting [Re: kellygtx]
kellygtx Offline
Guest

Registered: 07/11/07
Posts: 412
Loc: Texas, USA
I feel so sad...just fucking sad now...tears just don't seem enough...



Edited by kellygtx (09/26/07 11:11 AM)
_________________________
I bid you Peace.

Kelly

The time is always NOW. Breath In. Breath Out. Move On.

Top
#182460 - 09/26/07 11:14 AM Re: self cutting [Re: caointeoir]
kellygtx Offline
Guest

Registered: 07/11/07
Posts: 412
Loc: Texas, USA
Originally Posted By: caointeoir
i'm not lying about it. i tell anyone who asks me about the scars. i wear them, don't hide them.

i stood bleeding in the room and literally screamed 'help me' and all i got was empty confusion, even anger ('why do you do this?'). i did sex, heroin, therapy, antidepressants, tai ji, psychiatrists, group therapy, hormone checks and i'm still nowhere. just nowhere. i'm just somehow at an end. i don't know what else to do.

i guess i'm hijacking coop's thread now... i'm sorry. this pushes my buttons i guess. i'm out for now.

edit: kelly, sorry about that too. probably not the smartest way to come out of hiding from my side. i'm sorry.


I know you are not lying...and that's what I find sooo fucking sad...you deserve sooo much more.

_________________________
I bid you Peace.

Kelly

The time is always NOW. Breath In. Breath Out. Move On.

Top
#182462 - 09/26/07 11:30 AM Re: self cutting [Re: kellygtx]
thecoopstah Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/19/04
Posts: 589
Loc: massachusetts
so much for how i feel .....i guess it's not about me afterall.........whatever

_________________________
" You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have "

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#182463 - 09/26/07 11:31 AM Re: self cutting [Re: thecoopstah]
thecoopstah Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/19/04
Posts: 589
Loc: massachusetts
now thats a victim statement if i've ever heard one...........oh well it is what it is ......

_________________________
" You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have "

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#182464 - 09/26/07 11:37 AM Re: self cutting [Re: kellygtx]
kellygtx Offline
Guest

Registered: 07/11/07
Posts: 412
Loc: Texas, USA
Originally Posted By: kellygtx
Coop and Caointeoir -

PM me, I was there, I know how you feel. Guys, please, PLEASE don't do that - I CARE about you and don't want you to go down my path - because it is a path to no where. I know what the sting feels like and the relief it gives - but that is only replaced by feeling worse later.

I am here for you.


I was addressing both of you when I said you deserve soo much more, and I meant it. I don't think there is anyone in this world that cares more about you on this subject then me.

_________________________
I bid you Peace.

Kelly

The time is always NOW. Breath In. Breath Out. Move On.

Top
#182468 - 09/26/07 11:50 AM Re: self cutting [Re: kellygtx]
caointeoir Offline
Member

Registered: 05/26/06
Posts: 37
it is about you.
i apologize.


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#182471 - 09/26/07 12:02 PM Re: self cutting [Re: caointeoir]
thecoopstah Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/19/04
Posts: 589
Loc: massachusetts
You have done nothing wrong i'm only feeling helpless and this is my only vent right now.

You have no need to be sorry.

I hate acting out this way although it's real new for me in that the behavior is confusing but yet freeing if that makes sense.

Coop

_________________________
" You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have "

Top
#182473 - 09/26/07 12:06 PM Re: self cutting [Re: thecoopstah]
shadowkid Offline
WARNING from ModTeam, September 2013: user "Shadowkid" was exposed as a hoaxer. His entire online persona and stories of sexual abuse were fiction. We encourage you not to become emotionally concerned by anything you see in any of his posts. Thank you
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/18/05
Posts: 2437
everybody we ever encountered cut us in some way why should we treat ourselves any different?

_________________________
its not hard to fall
when you float like a cannonball - damien rice

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#182474 - 09/26/07 12:08 PM Re: self cutting [Re: shadowkid]
thecoopstah Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/19/04
Posts: 589
Loc: massachusetts
I agree entirely....but why....and i need to stop however that is i may never know....

Coop

_________________________
" You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have "

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#182484 - 09/26/07 01:45 PM Re: self cutting [Re: thecoopstah]
MusicMan Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 11/23/03
Posts: 144
Loc: Elmira, NY
Guys,

As I said before, I have been there, too. It appears that all of us who are attached to this thread agree...cutting is a bad thing.

It is very clear that both of you want to stop. So, at least the desire is there. One main thing that you have to do is tell on yourself before you act. Talk to someone first and tell that person how you are feeling. Let someone help get your head in a different direction. When you are having those feelings of cutting, being alone inside of your head is the worst place to be. Those of us who became addicted to this awful habit are living proof that it can be done.

Coopstah, I'm sure that you are very confused. I know that feeling. For both of you, you talked in terms of feeling out of control with no resplution. Been there, done that. You need to get others involved in this thing, loved ones. Let them help you. Try to figure out what your warning signs are when you normally go into the mode of knowing that you are going to cut. Let others know what those warning signs are. For now, don't try to do this alone. As Kelly inferred, it does get easier as time goes by.

Again, stress is the biggest trigger/catalyst to igniting this addiction. Be good to yourselves. Take it easy. Set boundaries for yourselves. As long as you do what you've always done, you'll get what you always got. You have to make some lifestyle changes. We all do. I know that most of my problems stem from CSA. That junk has captivated my life in most ways. Things that were done to me and all of us were despicable. However, it does not change the fact that we are what we are and where we are in life. If we want to have the best lives that we can have, we have make lifestyle changes and adjust to these problems that we have. I work as a therapist. I deal with these things every day. However, what makes me really in the know about this stuff, like Kelly and others, is that I have been there and almost didn't survive. Talk - to - people, make lifestyle adjustments and, for heaven's sake, Slow - down.

If you would like to PM me, I would be happy to talk with either one or both of you, too. Take care of yourselves.

God bless,
John, The Music Man.


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#182489 - 09/26/07 02:08 PM Re: self cutting [Re: MusicMan]
kellygtx Offline
Guest

Registered: 07/11/07
Posts: 412
Loc: Texas, USA
John -

Much more elequent then I was. Thank you for taking the time to help.

(((((John, The Music Man)))))

_________________________
I bid you Peace.

Kelly

The time is always NOW. Breath In. Breath Out. Move On.

Top
#182492 - 09/26/07 02:17 PM Re: self cutting [Re: kellygtx]
kellygtx Offline
Guest

Registered: 07/11/07
Posts: 412
Loc: Texas, USA
I copied the following from the Second Chance web site -

What does it take to stop self injuring yourself? I’ve pondered this question many times for myself and those that I help on the support group. So I came up with a couple things that are needed to successfully stop self injuring.

First there is the issues of wanting to stop or needing to stop. Some people want to stop self injuring themselves because they know it’s unhealthy and they are ready to try healthy. Other people may not want to stop self injuring, but they know they need to. Perhaps because someone close to them has asked them to, or a hospital has asked or therapist. Or they know they are in a downward spiral and can’t stop. So they know they need to stop self injuring if they want to get anywhere.

You need to be willing to work. That means you’ll actively try various preventative or intervention methods that will aide you in stopping. And you need to do this full on and not half assing it. Somewhere along your journey you found that pain equals security so you turn to it when you feel unsafe, when you hurt and when you feel low. It will take work to first unlearn those premises and to learn something new.

The first work you need to try is learning alternatives to self injury. This site has about sixty five different things to do other than self injury. If for only a couple times you are able to use some of those alternatives, then you are on the right track. A good way to test your readiness or if you wonder if you can actually stop, first feel an urge come on and see if you can choose to do something else. After you know you can do that, you can work from there, building up the alternatives and building up not hurting yourself, but building up to something healthy.

Next, if you are able, you need to go see a psychiatrist and a counselor. Go see the psychiatrist to see if you have a diagnosable disorder and get on medication (if you need it) and see a counselor to find out what drove you to cutting in the first place. Cutting is not a disorder by itself, merely a coping mechanisms for something else. If you conquer the pain behind the cutting, you conquer cutting itself.

Thus, you also need to be able to face the reasons that drove you to cutting. This can be especially painful. I know because I had to face my abusive past and honestly that took a couple years for me. I’m pretty stubborn. Something drove you to cutting and to have pain equal safety. It’s time to find out what.

Finally there is untwisting your negative thoughts. Click on this link: Cognitive Distortions. Here you will learn about the negative thoughts that keep us imprisoned in our own minds. Not only does pain drive us, but a constant barrage of negative thoughts keeps up cutting up our bodies. For example, we use words like always, never, everything and nothing. I could say that I tried everything to get better and nothing’s worked. Well, I haven’t really tried everything because I haven’t been on every single medication. That’s a negative thought. Instead, I should say, Well, I’ve tried a lot of treatments and they haven’t worked, maybe I need to search for something I haven’t tried. Now that is a rational, healthy statement. The other part of that sentence, and nothing’s worked, is also irrational. I ought to say something more like, they haven’t worked like I wanted them too, I wonder what is going on so that these treatments don’t work. Or, they have worked a little, but not enough to get better. Do you see the differences between the two statements? A lot of people haven’t understood their dark thoughts and how they can change them. Now you know you can. You’ll be hard pressed to want to cut yourself when you are thinking rationally.

So those are just a few things:

1. Want or need to stop

2. Willing to work hard to get better

3. Able to use alternatives to cutting

4. Go see a psychiatrist and counselor

5. Face the reasons that drove you to cutting

6. Untwist your negative thinking


This is by no means an exhaustive list, but merely a list to get you started. If you want to know more about these things, come to the support group, Second Chances. While self injury brings us together, we deal more with the pain behind self injury and also untwisting negative thoughts.

I wish you much luck in your healing and please PM me if you want more information on Second Chances.





Edited by kellygtx (09/26/07 02:19 PM)
_________________________
I bid you Peace.

Kelly

The time is always NOW. Breath In. Breath Out. Move On.

Top
#182534 - 09/26/07 05:03 PM Re: self cutting [Re: caointeoir]
mmac Offline
Guest

Registered: 09/21/07
Posts: 107
Loc: PA
Coop,
you already know the answer to this. it's following thru with it that is causing the anxiety. of course she's worried, she loves you and can recognize you are in pain. she wants to know why and what triggered this. tell her coop. Worse case senerio, nothing and you're right where you are now. Best case senerio, it will lift this burden from your heart, even if it's just for now.
I am here.
(((COOP)))
M:)

_________________________
"Insanity is doing the same thing over and over, and expecting different results."

I cannot take your steps, but I can walk beside you, if you'll let me.

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#182539 - 09/26/07 05:38 PM Re: self cutting [Re: mmac]
thecoopstah Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/19/04
Posts: 589
Loc: massachusetts
Tell her what ,she already knows i "cut" but i am not sure i can tell her i did it again unless she asks and i don't answer usually i get quiet and then she knows already....who knows i guess she'll know soone enough either by me or other way....i'm not going to keep debating this ..it';s getting fuckin old fast....stopping is not an option right now....it's only a matter of time before i regret it therefore do something stupid ultimately i will wish i didn't

_________________________
" You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have "

Top
#182541 - 09/26/07 05:51 PM Re: self cutting [Re: thecoopstah]
mmac Offline
Guest

Registered: 09/21/07
Posts: 107
Loc: PA
Not debating. your deal. just when you know the end result and you can try to prevent it wouldn't you??
I care anyway. and I am here if you want to talk.
not about the cutting, its about the talking and the trigger

M:)

_________________________
"Insanity is doing the same thing over and over, and expecting different results."

I cannot take your steps, but I can walk beside you, if you'll let me.

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#182543 - 09/26/07 05:56 PM Re: self cutting [Re: mmac]
kellygtx Offline
Guest

Registered: 07/11/07
Posts: 412
Loc: Texas, USA
Coop -

Like M I am not debating how you feel now - but you do have an option. It may not seem that way, but you do have an option. I am here too if you want to talk.

Much love and understaning your way

_________________________
I bid you Peace.

Kelly

The time is always NOW. Breath In. Breath Out. Move On.

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#182614 - 09/26/07 11:17 PM Re: self cutting [Re: kellygtx]
thecoopstah Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/19/04
Posts: 589
Loc: massachusetts
Thanks alot guys but i need to deal with this through my T

_________________________
" You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have "

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#182615 - 09/26/07 11:19 PM Re: self cutting [Re: thecoopstah]
thecoopstah Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/19/04
Posts: 589
Loc: massachusetts
i'm in such a position of confusion i really have no direction i want to go in , however i cant appriciate all the help iv'e gottn from here because it's not easy so absorb...

_________________________
" You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have "

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#182709 - 09/27/07 09:42 AM Re: self cutting [Re: thecoopstah]
violet Offline
Guest

Registered: 08/13/07
Posts: 118
Loc: US
coopstah, we are all hoping you find some clarity in all of this...and some peace.

V.

_________________________
I was silent as a child, and silenced as a young woman; I am taking my lumps and bumps for being a big mouth, now, but usually from those whose opinion I don't respect. - Sandra Cisneros

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#182713 - 09/27/07 09:49 AM Re: self cutting [Re: violet]
kellygtx Offline
Guest

Registered: 07/11/07
Posts: 412
Loc: Texas, USA
Coop -

I was thinking about you all night. I know the pain and frustration you feel --- and how cutting seems to make sense. I have told you what I think here - but I also want you to now how much respect I have for you just getting on here to talk about it and telling us where you are at and why.

Namaste -



Edited by kellygtx (09/27/07 09:49 AM)
_________________________
I bid you Peace.

Kelly

The time is always NOW. Breath In. Breath Out. Move On.

Top
#182730 - 09/27/07 10:19 AM Re: self cutting [Re: kellygtx]
thecoopstah Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/19/04
Posts: 589
Loc: massachusetts
I have felt never felt the love and support in all my life(w/the acception of my fiancee)then i have in the last several days.

My fiancee is going with me today to my therapy appt and she feels it's real important she told me for her to go.

I am so fortunate to have someone like her who essentially has no clue about the "cutting" ...but she sure trys evereyday.


Lisa and i had another long talk about the cutting and she actually told me that she's worried about me and "now that when i'm at work hon i'm going to be thinking if you're cutting yourself again it worries me" i know it does in fact worry her but it's not so simple to just "stop" the behavior...anyway therapy today should be real interesting and very emotional.

I'll get through it(the cutting and all the feelings iv'e been dealing with and going through lately)

With lots of support perhaps i can get a better perspective in to this unhealthy acting out.


Coop

_________________________
" You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have "

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#182732 - 09/27/07 10:22 AM Re: self cutting [Re: thecoopstah]
kellygtx Offline
Guest

Registered: 07/11/07
Posts: 412
Loc: Texas, USA
Coop -

Nothing left to say here but you are so loved. Joy and Peace to you my friend --- just Joy and Peace.

_________________________
I bid you Peace.

Kelly

The time is always NOW. Breath In. Breath Out. Move On.

Top
#182798 - 09/27/07 01:59 PM Re: self cutting [Re: kellygtx]
mmac Offline
Guest

Registered: 09/21/07
Posts: 107
Loc: PA
Thanks Coop for letting her in and for letting allof us love you.
We are here for you.
(((COOP)))
\:\)

_________________________
"Insanity is doing the same thing over and over, and expecting different results."

I cannot take your steps, but I can walk beside you, if you'll let me.

Top
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