Coop and Caointeoir -

I am not talking to you as someone who does not know the pain and anger you feel. I am speaking as someone who made all those empty promisies to stop for 35 years.

I have the scars on my hands, legs, and butt to prove it.

I threw away blood stained underwear, bleached floors, and made up lies so no one would find out. I am speaking from experience when I say this is a wicked, wicked addiction that you have to reach out and get help with.

PM me, I was there, I know how you feel. Guys, please, PLEASE don't do that - I CARE about you and don't want you to go down my path - because it is a path to no where. I know what the sting feels like and the relief it gives - but that is only replaced by feeling worse later.

I am here for you.

God damn I feel so bad...for all of us! I wish I was with you to help you...to help us. How in the hell could we feel that cutting ourselves would be an answer to anything? I feel so much more shame and guilt about this cutting myself then I do about anything sexual I ever did. These posts are killing me!! Fucking killing me!!

i'm not lying about it. i tell anyone who asks me about the scars. i wear them, don't hide them.

i stood bleeding in the room and literally screamed 'help me' and all i got was empty confusion, even anger ('why do you do this?'). i did sex, heroin, therapy, antidepressants, tai ji, psychiatrists, group therapy, hormone checks and i'm still nowhere. just nowhere. i'm just somehow at an end. i don't know what else to do.

i guess i'm hijacking coop's thread now... i'm sorry. this pushes my buttons i guess. i'm out for now.

edit: kelly, sorry about that too. probably not the smartest way to come out of hiding from my side. i'm sorry.

caointeoir -

Brother I understand - I was in that same room - and I was no where. But you know what, you can take little steps back from no where. Here is a web site called second chance that deals only with self-cutting.

http://www.angelfire.com/bc3/secondchance/

Please, PLEASE don't give up or give in - just for this second, then a minute, then an hour, then a day, then a week, then a month. You can do it - a second at a time.

I love you!!

I feel so sad...just fucking sad now...tears just don't seem enough...

I know you are not lying...and that's what I find sooo fucking sad...you deserve sooo much more.

so much for how i feel .....i guess it's not about me afterall.........whatever

now thats a victim statement if i've ever heard one...........oh well it is what it is ......

I was addressing both of you when I said you deserve soo much more, and I meant it. I don't think there is anyone in this world that cares more about you on this subject then me.

it is about you.
i apologize.