I have a hard time feeling like I belong here. I have interacted with other men here and have read some of their stories and feel like I do not belong here. My story is not even half as horrible and I feel very weird. The strangest thing is that if someone else told me this story (actually something like this happened recently) I'd definitely see them as victims of abuse. However, I cannot see myself as one. It comes and goes. Is anyone else here facing the same questions?

This is SO familiar in my life. I barely remember anything - there are times I doubt anything really happened. So what am I doing here? Right now I'm riding a wave of feeling like I have no right to be here.

What you are feeling is not unique to you. What I have to do when this happens is try to listen to the guys here who say I belong. I figure it's their place and if they say I have a spot here, then maybe they see something I don't?

I don't know that I can offer you any real help - other than say you're not alone. I hate the way this comes and goes - but for myself - I rarely feel I belong anywhere.

m

yeah totally. when i first came here i didnt think i was abused. it was my shrink who told me i was. haha. i dont call myself a survivor. bottom line tho dude, is "recovery" (and i hate that term too) recovery isn't a pissing contest. we dont all stand around talking about whose life sucks more. or whose experiences were the suckiest. its all relative. it all sucks.

All I know is that there are no realistic comparisons of abuse... what affects one person at a particular time in their life is specific to that person.

I have had the same thought many times. My abuse was not violent. My abuse was by a teenager, not an adult. My abuse went on for 6 years and I did a lot to keep it going. I enjoyed many aspects of the sex.... but I've come to understand that a big part of my childhood was taken... altered... I could not trust, I hated myself for my arousal, I believed I was evil, I believed I was going to hell, I believed if anyone found out I would be sent away.... I believed it was all my fault.

RCM, it doesn't matter WHAT happened to us as kids specifically, it matters that we are here, brothers, to support each other and help each other find peace and resolve -

I have read your posts, and I, for one, think you bring a lot to the site, so in my opinion, you belong here as much as any of us.

Dan

Oh yeah...you can look up my posts and see that it is a common thing. I think the best thing is to just not obsess about it.

It comes and goes with me too,sometimes I feel like what happened to me was not abusive and other days it seems like abuse.Like bp83 said I think its a common thing,like feelings of guilt.

Post deleted by nicky

One second of abuse is one second too many, and it is all it takes to belong here.

I was groomed, then abused. Before I came here, I had thought that if I had been beaten up and abused, it would have been better, because I would not have had mixed feelings about the abuser. I would have just known that someone using physical power over me was evil. Someone that was nice to me to get what they wanted just didn't seem as evil, and that is what confused ne for many years.

Since joining this site, I have realised that all abuse is evil - there is no better way to be abused - every single way leaves scars. Some scars you can see, some you can't!

Best wishes ..Rik

dude i know exactly how you feel. I brought this up in the chat room the other night when i had to vent. It took me months to actually post something here cause i wasn't sure that i belonged. But seriously though man i'm glad i did. The people on this site have helped me more than i could have ever asked for. They'll definitely be there for you too man.