Ken,

Last year I began telling any medical people I need to see that I am a survivor of CSA. Sometimes the reaction is a bit clumsy, if the doctor isn't ready for that, but that has happened only 2-3 times. All the rest of the occasions it's worked out well and I've been happy with the treatment I got. On several occasions the doctor has thanked me for disclosing, since it helps them to help me better.

I have colon surgery coming up to deal with old scarring from when I was a kid, and of course I'm not looking forward to that. But I will do it because I know it's in my best interest.

Dentists? Forget it. One of my most horrific memories involved being held by my head, so any dental work is a huge trigger for me. I've been avoiding the dentist for years, even though I know it's a bad move on my part. I hate being controlled by those old fears, but I find it difficult to break free from them. Even the thought of going to the dentist is enough to send me into a near panic.

Much love,
Larry

There are many things I hate about seeing the dentist or doctor. I've had several scopes in the past because of internal bleeding and ulceration which later resulted in major surgery. Barbaric! I also have hated anything that gags me, especially tongue depressors, since I was little.

Andy

I don't have any issues that I can think of, although having an IV line attached to my arm leaves me feeling violated...

The last visit I had to a doctor was several years ago. It was required in order for me to continue to the next semester because my medical records were incomplete. What made me uncomfortable was how impersonal all the touching was. The doctor told me what he was doing, but he did not notice or seem to care that I was uncomfortable being touched.

Hi,

Let's see. There was an experience with a doctor who told me to pull down my pants so he could feel around down there (I guess that's fairly normal to check for a hernia, but even at 16 and pre-pubescent, I was more than a little freaked out).
There was also the dentist who filled a baby tooth when the novocain wasn't working, and I screamed bloody murder. I was about five or six at the time, and was still in the middle of some nightmarish stuff.
Then there was four wisdom teeth removed at the same time. I dropped so much weight my Mom was scared (I went down to just under 130 pounds on a 6-foot frame). And I don't think the procedure itself was that bad, because they knocked me out so I wouldn't hear the drilling (hate that sound).
And I've avoided dentists whenever possible since I reached adulthood. In fact, I let things go to the point that I've had to have 22 teeth worked on in the last three years, with two more that haven't been repaired yet.
I don't fear dentists the way I did, but only from necessity. I still dread going sometimes. But I've only been back to the doctor once since I was 16 (two years later, when I had to have a hemherroid removed). If I die from prostate cancer because I don't get that checked, so be it. I'll take that risk, to avoid the humiliation.

Ed

Ed

I understand COMPLETELY.

M

I do have issues with both I have to work hard on. The first is blood in my mouth - scares the crap out of me. I have to work hard to go to the dentist.

Second, I hate MD's. It is not connected to my abuse, but rather so many trips to the neurologist when I was a kid - many trips, many tests, many drugs. Got to the point I just said "no more". I saw a neurologist for the first time in 35 years just this year. I did not disclose to him - just had to go.

I was uncomfortable being examined,

but not unbearably so. I was cautious and on gaurd

I paid close attention for signs of professionalism, or

for signs of any 'comming on' to me.

I did not find anything amiss, so I put my fears, mostly to rest.

One of my abusers, the worst one, was a doctor, and that really, it put me off of doctors all total. Of course, in life, it is some irony, and since the abuse ended, I have had cancer twice, and have had to have treatments for that (in personal area), and also have had two other surgeries in last two years. I guess that make it for me to have to get over the fear, but it really do not. I still have the fear, but fear of death is little more now. With being in competing sport, I do not have choice to go to doctor at least once a year for general check up also, or I do not compete.

Dentist, that is different, and I will confess only I have been once in last five or 6 years.

Andrei