Mike again. Listen, if you want to hear a voice, call me and I'll call you right back. I have those free cell phone minutes on weekends and after nine. But I can talk anytime, man, any time it will help.
I cried a lot. A lot. I mean, a whole lot. I think I had to. I think nobody had ever heard that baby cry and he just needed someone to hear him and say that they know what happened, they know.
One thing about living alone - you can let that little boy scream his pain and his rage and no one will come banging on your door. And he'll feel better, I think.
At least that's the way it worked for me. I know I need to be careful, because we each have our own way of dealing with this, but that's how it worked for me.
That baby was trapped inside me, alone, for decades and when I first touched him, that's what he wanted. He wanted my voice to scream his pain and his rage and my eyes to cry his tears - the ones that burn my eyes even now. And I gave them to him.
I don't know, that may have been when he first started to feel that I loved him and would never leave him.
My heart is aching for you and there are tears in my eyes.
You're gonna make it, man, you will. Trust that. From here I give you a hug.