Yes, it is what I am doing, I am guilty of posting while intoxicated. It is not yet 1:30 in the afternoon here, and I'm rather 'tanked'. (On the plus side, the Xfiles make more sense this way, yay for DVD collecitons). I am trying to not drink as much. Although I think I am a much more fine human being with a little bit of alcohol in me. Or a lot. Of course, I am a bit more of a hazard to God's creatures when I'm filled up. I just dropped the gerbil on the floor by accident, and both the cat and dog looked quite interested. Lucy on the luoose. Luckily she was surprised enough to not go anywhere.

So why am I drunk on an early Friday afternoon? Why not. Sorry. Wow, self pity is an ugly look for me.

It seems like, I've been more of the DID the last few weeks then is usual. And I figure, if I am llooped out, then maybe I can stay myself. I don't know why it is such a big deal. The people around me, the closest ones kno of the little 'secret'. And everyone else just thinks I'm insane anyway, whether they are to polite to tell me to my face or not.

The only time that I wasn't losing myself frequently o a regular basis, I was on medications to make me pretty much be 'out of it' on the regular basis. No way to live, that. But it's what I'm doing right now, so what is the difference?

I'm not making sense, but I"m annoyed and really just sick of my own self right now. So I'm posting, 'reaching out' with no questions and no purpose to be writing this. Kind of funny, in a stupid sor to fway.

Leosha

sorry---------------------------------leosha-------------------the pain hurts so much--------------------------------please be kind to yourself------------------------steve-------------------------------------btw---------------------you deserve so much more

Leosha,

Hey man, you don't need to have questions or something complicated to say. If what you want to do is reach out, go for it! I just want you to know you're being heard. You're also appreciated and respected - drunk, sober, gerbil-dropping, or whatever.

Much love,
Larry

((((((((Leshka)))))))))

We love you just the way you are, buddy, in whatever condition you are in. One word of advice...I'd erase this post before Visha gets a chance to read about Lucy!!! He may be dropping you on the floor!

Take care of yourself, Leshka. Pretty good advice from an alkie, huh?

Leosha,

I have a beer with me here now, so I guess I can't do that "holier than thou" thing, can I? OK, so I won't.

You know what? You're a d@mn good human being without anything added. Maybe you don't feel it right now, but we, of all people, know that feelings are real but not necessarily true.

Take care of yourself, as Rich says. Oh, and take care of Lucy, too.

Joe

Leosha,

Actually I think your post was quite sane! Most sense anyone's made yet...

Careful with Lucy tho. I know of a certain someone who will hold you by the neck off the floor if she comes to any harm! Just a thought...

John