...........IDK how to start this honesty.Its all good mostly but I was triggered too over the last few days.I am for starters getting a therapist again and my brother (my abuser) has plans to move away in a month.

How all this happened is basically an argument between me and my mom in the car on Tuesday,in which the topic is completely irreverent.I got angry and said a bunch of stupid crap that I regret basically.my brother was in the car too and I did not make any threats of any kind but when we got out of the car he attacked me for the 2nd time since he has been out of prison.The first time I justified it because I pushed him out of the way,which is almost asking for a fight.I don't justified it this time because I had not made any threats or approached him in any way that spells violence.

This whole thing basically connects to the abuse because afterward I actually talked to my mom about why I was triggered so.She knew about the abuse in the past but I told her some stuff I didn't say before (not much) and made the suggestion to go to a therapist again.Which the great news is I am getting a new therapist in a month,I have to wait for a change in insurance and stuff.The bad news is I am not on speaking terms with my brother.......again,that happens a lot when I think about it.It may not be too bad a thing After all he did abuse me before,I doubt most people here try to communicate with their abusers.

Good for you...I'm glad you are going to see a new therapist! It's good to hear from you too, it's been a little while.

It must be realy hard to be around your brother, and I understand why you would never want to speak to him. Good news about getting a T, that one of the most important things we can do for our recovery. Best of luck.

Tom

OICU812,

Well, yes, the great news is that you will be going back to a therapist. I hope you will talk about that and how it makes you feel as the time approaches. It really should help you a lot.

I can't imagine why anyone would question your right to feel uncomfortable around your perp brother, especially since he seems to feel he can do what he wants. If I were in your shoes I would feel exactly the same way that you do.

I have been saying this a lot to day, it seems, but I'd like to do it again here because it's something you need to hear. Guys usually think they're supposed to be tough and self-sufficient, and survivors often put a different spin on that by refusing to ask for the help they need.

Don't fall for this one, okay? You have every right to be safe and unafraid in your own home. If this can't be worked out somehow, then ask your parents about it and say how you feel. Ask for the help you need.

Much love,
Larry

Hi bp83,I am still online for the most part I just don't post a lot.I am in Chat room sometimes.



Well I did actually treat my brother well for a while now we aren't on speaking terms.I did not want it to sound like I completely did not try to communicate with him.

I am actually kind of nervous about a therapist,the last one I am referring to I only talk to twice.I am nervous about the idea of talking to people face to face about my abuse.I find it hard enough on the internet.

I don't get to chat much at all, being that school has started up again, it consumes most of my life!