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#181315 - 09/20/07 12:24 AM Re: ***Possible Triggers*** Questions about sex [Re: Dewey2k]
rcm Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/24/07
Posts: 156
Loc: Boston, MA
Thank you Deweye I think the word came out too strongly but it did come out that way.
I will post separately about power issues.
This has really been an eye opener.

_________________________
______________________________________________
Prince Zuko: [looking at a map] How am I going to find the Avatar? He is clearly a master of evasive maneuvering.
Sokka: [cut to him, looking at the same map] You have no idea where you're going, do you?

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#181317 - 09/20/07 12:29 AM Re: ***Possible Triggers*** Questions about sex [Re: pain4ever]
rcm Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/24/07
Posts: 156
Loc: Boston, MA
Brian I agree that anal sex is not necessary but I really want to do it and freak out every time I have tried. I have not been able to do so and it's frustrating. So I can understand that a couple may not be interested but the truth is ... I am. I can get by without it (after all I have always been like this) but I'd like to try it.

_________________________
______________________________________________
Prince Zuko: [looking at a map] How am I going to find the Avatar? He is clearly a master of evasive maneuvering.
Sokka: [cut to him, looking at the same map] You have no idea where you're going, do you?

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#181347 - 09/20/07 07:00 AM Re: ***Possible Triggers*** Questions about sex [Re: Dewey2k]
rcm Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/24/07
Posts: 156
Loc: Boston, MA
Thanks Dewey and all for your input. It has been extremely helpful. I have more questions ....

_________________________
______________________________________________
Prince Zuko: [looking at a map] How am I going to find the Avatar? He is clearly a master of evasive maneuvering.
Sokka: [cut to him, looking at the same map] You have no idea where you're going, do you?

Top
#181348 - 09/20/07 07:00 AM Re: ***Possible Triggers*** Questions about sex [Re: rcm]
pain4ever Offline


Registered: 04/05/01
Posts: 1032
RCM...

Funny thing is I dont get the whole bottoming thing...there are too many blocks in my head from the abuse. I have tried it a couple times and i went straight into flashbacks. If you can figure out how to stop falshbacks and the feelings from the abuse being triggerred by anal sex, let me know!

_________________________
Peace and Tranquility all depends on your frame of reference.

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#181349 - 09/20/07 07:07 AM Re: ***Possible Triggers*** Questions about sex [Re: pain4ever]
rcm Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/24/07
Posts: 156
Loc: Boston, MA
Ok on to the power and domination issues.

I have not had a lot of experience with anal sex. It has alwyas horrified me. Even when I was dating women although I thought that was related to the fact that I didn't want to put my penis inside a woman, I later realized that I had the same anxiety with a man.

I have been able to do it and get very aroused penetrating but only when I am playing a very dominant role. This can involve for example, penetrating someone who is smaller physically than me. I like the sensation of been able to lift them up for example and carry them. Obviously I have to do this with someone who is smaller than me, at least a couple of inches and a few pounds lighter. I don't care much about age, although usually I gravitate to someone around my age or older.

I also fantasize about being the person in the scene above, who is being dominated. For this, obviously I have to find someone who appears older and bigger. Definitely has to be older or at least looks older. I don't think it'd be the same even if the guys was taller and heavier if I perceived him as younger than me.

The idea of a bigger man, heavier, taller, older who is playing a dominant role is very arousing.

But that's not all. I am not a submissive person. It's not my nature. I don't like it when my lover tries to 'force' something. I get very angry. For example, I was once dating a guy who tended to be dominant. He was into kissing and I wasn't (never have been). He'd take my head with his hand and try to kiss me. I think he was gentle but firm, but still I hated that. Being forced to do something.

I hope all this is making sense.

_________________________
______________________________________________
Prince Zuko: [looking at a map] How am I going to find the Avatar? He is clearly a master of evasive maneuvering.
Sokka: [cut to him, looking at the same map] You have no idea where you're going, do you?

Top
#181381 - 09/20/07 10:21 AM Re: ***Possible Triggers*** Questions about sex [Re: pain4ever]
Jarrad Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/27/06
Posts: 1071
Loc: arizona
its actually pretty normal for gay guys to clean there. if you dont clean there and are a bottom... its messy. so it can range to cleaning in the shower to regular enimas. don't fret my pet.


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#181382 - 09/20/07 10:26 AM Re: ***Possible Triggers*** Questions about sex [Re: Jarrad]
Jarrad Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/27/06
Posts: 1071
Loc: arizona
oh and on the domination stuff... some guys are naturally a top. and some guys are naturally a bottom. and some guys can do both. there is nothign wrong with any of the roles. if you want to do the whole bottoming thing, it might be wise to try toys at home first, by yourself, so you dont have to freak out in front of other people. toys will also help you get used to the sentation of having a dick in your ass.

p.s. you can still be dominant male if you are the botttom. "i want you to fuck me." or "give it to me now." etc. just because you are the one getting fucked doesnt mean you are surrendering at all.


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#181421 - 09/20/07 01:19 PM Re: ***Possible Triggers*** Questions about sex [Re: Jarrad]
pain4ever Offline


Registered: 04/05/01
Posts: 1032
LOL..Jarrad I agree on the being a dominant bottom....sometimes my partner gets that way...he acts very dominant...even though i am the one "pitching". He will get on top with me on my back....very agressive. I think we switch it up as far as who is the "aggressor"....He likes to be dominated but sometimes I feel like I am abusing him so I will take a more passive role.

The thing is to find what your comfortable with...you dont have to follow any "rules".

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