Why can I not ask for what I need? Why can I not feel I am worth of listening to and help? How to get past them feelings? I am so down, so scared, and so desperate to talk and be listen to and understood, and like near always, I go to chat, and again, I can not speak. WHy? Why can I not feel like I deserve to be heard, and when someone leave, or do not recognize what I am trying to say I need help, that I take it personal. I TRY to say I need to talk, and it is not heard. I am not saying it right, I know. What can I do, why can I not feel as it? I want to just scream, please help me, please hear me, please please, and I can not even say, please I need help. ANd I feel all more stupid on myself for it. I feel invisible and that I belong as that.

VN

VN
I will listen, & help you speak, if you let me. It will not be pleasant what I ask u, but perhaps it will help you break through...
~Paul (Blacken)

I know who you are Visha and I care about you.

I've been coming to chat lately. You're always welcome to talk to me.

visha i have seen you fly,pm or chat im here and you did ask for help ,so thats part of the problem you beat already ,adam

Visha,

It is difficult sometimes to speak up for ourselves. It can be the most difficult thing to do when we are used to being marginalized and treated like we are nothing. But we are not nothing. We are important. We deserve to be heard. All we need to do is raise our voice, or type the words. It is hard, but I know you can do it.

I see you, Visha. I think you know what I mean. Speak, and we will listen.

((((((((((((Visha)))))))))))

I cannot tell you enough, call me if you need to chat. You are disturbing no one!! I can go back to sleep in 5 seconds.

I am afraid I said the wrong thing this morning to you. I did not mean it the way it came out. You know I would never hurt you, Visha.

People here care. People there care, too. Let us help you. Never feel unworthy to ask for help. You certainly are worthy, and that is something you need to grasp. Visha is worthy to ask for help. Trust me...Have I ever lied to you?

Absolutely VN, you just said what you need and everyone one of us understands that. Hard to need that help, hard to think just like everyone else said "just get over it". Every contact helps, every emotion that comes out as words helps. You just need to ask my friend. It truley is real. And the fact is there's lots of us.

Stay stong brother
Mike

Visha,

If you can't ask for what you need, hey, don't be surprised my friend. Remember that an abused boy learns REAL fast that no matter what he needs, it won't come. No matter what he says, it won't stop. No matter what he asks for, it won't be granted. So eventually the boy learns that it's better to shut up and expect nothing, ask for nothing, want nothing. At least that way the pain of being denied, ignored and rejected can be avoided.

That way of thinking sticks with us, Visha! Even when we are adults we still carry that terrible false lesson in our hearts. It's nothing to be ashamed of, though. It's just another issue to be faced.

If you want to talk about this PM me and we can talk in chat or otherwise. And just remember that you're not all fucked up like you may think. You're okay. It's what was done to you that's fucked up.

Much love,
Larry

Vitaliy, I want to talk to you. You can always talk to me if you see me in chat.

You are not a lone voice in the wilderness , there are thousands of other people that have lived through the same things that You have . What ever that you have to say it is not going to supprise us .