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#179902 - 09/12/07 04:36 PM
After my T session....
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Member
Registered: 05/28/06
Posts: 449
Loc: england
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In my T session tonight we explored how my own past severely affects my present with my bf. I was aware of these things anyway, but you know how it's more validating when you talk to a T about stuff.....she pointed out to me just how traumatised I have been by this event in my life....and why trusting again would be difficult for me.
I am shocked at just how deeply hard I am finding it to trust again. And worried about how to give my bf the acceptance he needs, when the very thing is the thing which just traumatises me over and over again. How can I get out of this paranoid, anxiety ridden state??? Is it even paranoia? It's like I can't trust anything. I have worries left right and centre....
peace
Beccy
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#179985 - 09/13/07 07:46 AM
Re: After my T session....
[Re: beccy]
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Member
Registered: 10/03/06
Posts: 409
Loc: chicago
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I SO can relate to this Beccy! I wish there was some easy answers to make us trust again, to help us through the paranoid, anxiety, ridden state...I feel with time, hard work and a true desire to get there, we will.
Best wishes,
S-n-S
_________________________
"As long as he continues to try, I will meet him in that determination and commitment."
cm 2007
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#180357 - 09/14/07 08:08 PM
Re: After my T session....
[Re: sweet-n-sour]
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Guest
Registered: 07/16/07
Posts: 40
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I feel the SAME way, thank GOD I am not alone. Hard to imagine that our significant others' pain can cause us so much grief. Hang in there...
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#180412 - 09/15/07 08:41 AM
Re: After my T session....
[Re: thewife]
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Guest
Registered: 04/04/07
Posts: 407
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Trust...so easily destroyed...yet we don't even know how to start and rebuild it.
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#180479 - 09/15/07 05:08 PM
Re: After my T session....
[Re: healingpartner]
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Member
Registered: 05/28/06
Posts: 449
Loc: england
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So, here I am again.....
It is reassuring to know I'm not alone in this, although I'm sorry too that anyone else is feeling this way. It is so hard.
I was going to write more, but feel exhausted just thinking about it.
peace
Beccy
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#180609 - 09/16/07 02:07 PM
Re: After my T session....
[Re: beccy]
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Member
Registered: 05/28/06
Posts: 449
Loc: england
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Tonight I am feeling guilty.
I talked with my bf about the difficulties I'm having with 'accepting' his sexuality.....and now I feel like I've hurt his feelings. I am trying to be honest, surely it's better than lying?
How am I supposed to accept something which has posed such a threat to my life??
How am i supposed to like something which is a product of abuse??
My bf says he doesn't need me to like it, just accept it. I just feel perpetually confused about exactly WHAT I am trying to accept here.....he says he thought it would bring us some peace.......
I am like, if it's a product of the abuse, then I find it hard to accept. If it's more based on real desire, than by comparison, I feel inferior and therefore can't accept it either.
I don't know. It's all such a head-f***k
peace
Beccy
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