the worst thing about the hospital was
**** TRIGGER WARNING *******

...when I had what they later called a seizure.....

& I was totally helpless........

And I couldn't control what was happening, or what people did to me.

being stripped down in the ER.

being "handled".

Getting a Foli tube shoved up my dick.

feeling all the pain of that & needles.

not being able to stop any of it no matter how hard i tried.

hearing them joke about my "situation".

them thinking a was unconscious.......but I was....I just couldn't move.

Wanting to scream at them to stop & having no speech.

being Bathed, by hand, Everywhere I sure as hell didn't want to be touched.

screaming & crying on the inside, but no one could hear me.

they wouldn't understand me if they could.

they wouldn't know my terror.



I'm trying to describe it but my mind seems to want to stop.

seizures are the scariest thing ,your mind just goes crazy ,nothing is like it should be ,i had lots of them i know how you feel.i was told that when we are in a normal state the there are electrons in our brain that have to fire off in a certain order to make the world what it is during a seizure instead of firinig off in order they jusy fire randomly making everything just crazy ,for me me hearing would be like someone just kept turnning up the volume,with an echo louder and louder untill i would just black out then my body would just go crazy during the seizure after it was over it felt like being hit by a truck . the sacry part for me was that my brain just didnt work like normal also if your aware that the seizuer is comminhg its like a huge panic attack the panic builds till i believe that i would trigger the seizure myself ,sorry you have to know what its like but meds can help

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There are many different types of seizures. I am speaking from experience as someone who has had them since about age 3. Mine are what they call catatonic stupors and they are really not that bad...I just check out for awhile. And while drugs can help, in some cases they can't control them 100% of the time. And some of those drugs have very nasty side effects.