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#180100 - 09/13/07 04:00 PM Is The End Near...
kellygtx Offline
Guest

Registered: 07/11/07
Posts: 412
Loc: Texas, USA
Is The End Near?

Is the end near?
does she love me?
or the pretend person I created to make her happy?

The one that pretends to be happy with this job and the one that
pretends to be content with a mediocre and sporadic sex life. The man who
ignores the pain her actions cause him, the man who tries to hide all
unpleasant feelings from her and fails so miserably.

Does she know how I doubt her love? The anger I feel because of the
carelessly spoken words of spite. The kisses hello and
good-bye that I have to remind her to give. That man who loves her
is I; but I don't even know who he is.

I use to dream of reaching the stars and her being by my side. Lately at
night as I lay awake I wonder if I will find the strength to be alone. No
house with a swing, no children, no dog, no dreams of chairs set on the
porch facing the same direction.

I have thought and wondered what would make me feel secure.
Secure in her love for me.

Would I learn as I think I would that she doesn't really want me, doesn't
really need me, doesn't really love me.

And in the end I will be alone.

_________________________
I bid you Peace.

Kelly

The time is always NOW. Breath In. Breath Out. Move On.

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#180586 - 09/16/07 12:33 PM Re: Is The End Near... [Re: kellygtx]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Kelly,

I don't think any of us can answer these questions for you. If there is a basis for communication between you two, then all is not lost. If you can see some way to begin talking honestly and openly about the problems in the relationship then there is hope.

Regardless of how it works out I hope you know you are valued as our brother and supported here among us on the site.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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