Are you sure you're up to the heartache and loneliness of living your life with a survivor? Ask any of the wives and partners here how rough it can be.
I'm not necessarily trying to discourage you, but suggesting that you go into this with some knowledge of what you're up against if he does not choose to go down the recovery path. It cannot be forced on him or engineered by yourself or any other person. The decision is his alone.
Robbie has suggested one of the best possible books for you to read. There are also books specifically for partners of abuse survivors. Have a look at our Bookstore
. There are titles there for survivors as well as family and friends of survivors. Check out the various subrooms by clicking the links in the left column. The room is powered by Amazon.com and you can purchase the books right there in our bookroom via the Amazon Website.
I truly wish you well. The best possible thing for you to do right now is a lot of reading as well as interacting here and perhaps with a therapist who specializes in men who were sexually abused as boys. He/she can shed a lot of lite on your journey if you choose to walk that path. If you do, your bf is fortunate to have you in his corner, but remember, you cannot do the work for him.
Lots of love,