i woke up this morning totally craving. its weird. i havn't wanted it this bad in so long. its been 13 months since i have used. i thought intense cravings stop after a point. i thoughti was past this.

what i've found is the intense cravings don't come so often. and my ability to not give in has grown.

i still wish they'd go away forever, but i guess if i can get past them now and they aren't as frequent, that's better than nothing.

i guess.

M

Jarrad...

We all have back slides but thats what we are here for...to help you through those backslides. Help us understand what in your life right now is making you want this so bad? Talk to us!

Brian

brian eww. you mean like open up and USE the board? never. haha. its probably just stress.

Thats what were here for little Mr. LOL....Just stress...u sure about that?

no im not sure. but i dont know enough about addiction and why all of a sudden a person would start craving out of no where.

i haven't acted out in about 6 years, but just the other day the desire hit me like a ton of bricks.
i think it was because of recovery stuff i was focusing on...the old coping mechanisms just resurface...
??

maybe buzz. but i havnt had any big breakthoughs this week really. its one thing if i had a eye opening experience with abuse or something. but its just a normal week.

Jarrad,

It could be that the issue that came up is still rattling around in your subconscious mind and your conscious mind isn't aware of it yet. Try to pay attention to the emotions that seem to come from nowhere. It might help you figure out where this is coming from.

Jarrad,

I suppose part of the answer will depend on what you were using; different drugs evoke different responses. But I can say that it took me 6 years to get completely free from hard drugs, and even now, after 32 years clean, they still call out to me. I guess you just learn to ignore the call after awhile, but it seems like it's always there somehow - some days more than others.

Much love,
Larry