When i was little i wanted to please my parents
    they were my world, when they smiled the sun shone

As i grew, there were others to attend to
    keeping my sister happy, she might not want to play her "games"
    couldn't keep my brother or his friends happy, best to hide

Still older, and the crowd to please grew
    now it was my peers, again mostly for self preservation
    the beatings were shorter if i did what was demanded

I got married
    the need to please parents didn't leave
    instead i just added another person to the list - my wife

My children
    my reasons for living - the joys of my existance
    and more who need me to make the world right for them

Mom died
    and now there's my father's new live-in girlfriend to tend with

All i want to know -
    when is it flippin my turn???????????????

Mark,

I remember somewhere along the way that, perhaps after some therapy, I realized I could not please everyone. Somewhere along the way, I said 'oh well, ain't gonna happen.' I also realized it was ok for some people not to like me. When I saw it was ok for them to not like me, then it was ok for me to not try to please them. Granted the perception with immediate family may be different, even some of them can take a nice long break from my people-pleasing agenda, perhaps indefinitely.

Yes, good boys take turns, just not at the expense of the good boy.

My $0.02 worth,

Andy

Start right now dude, get on the PC and surf youtube all day or go buy a nice bicycle and take off for an afternoon or go for a drive and visit your hometown or buy a cool model set (like tanks and planes or nascars) and put them together down in the basement while you listen to archived Micheal Savage shows on your mp3 player or WHATEVER.

You're an adult, DO WHATEVER you want to do. You don't HAVE to be with your wife EVERY MINUTE OF THE DAY. You don't HAVE to be with the kids EVERY MINUTE OF THE DAY.

Sounds like you need some "play time" to me.

Then again, I was never the people-pleaser, I never really gave a damn what others wanted of me. I guess we're all different huh?

Two outstanding comments. Thank you both for sharing from your hearts.

Of course, if hearing, accepting, and applying were synonomous - I'd have it made...

M

Post deleted by ttoon

Yes Mark, yes. When is my Flippin turn. Making me cry. We'll get there Brother, that's what it's all about, that's what the healing is all about. Time to realize, now is my time, same as you, now is our time.

When we realize we get to have a turn that's when the healing is done.

Love ya bro
Mike

I woulda thought that's when the healing finally starts...


M

I would think if we can get to a point that we realize that we DO get to have a turn that hard part is done.

Hear ya bro
Mike

Hmmm ... that makes a lot of sense too.

But maybe when we:
1) Realize we DO get a turn
and
2) TAKE it

?

Hard Brother, never been there. Still working myself. But if I can get to a point where I do value myself enough to believe I get a turn, I would think then I just become...what...normal? Maybe join the rest of the world in thinking I might deserve something???? anything???? ....Maybe put myself first.

Is there something so wrong in that. Putting myself first. I know feels wrong to me too.

Hard Bro, but in the end I "guess" I am worth it, who the F**k else is going to put me first other than myself. As an adult "logically" nobody else is.

Want to solve it for you bro, but I'm in the same place.

Are we worth it? Shit I don't know, but would we be here if in the back of our heads we thought different.

I suck, in my mind. But there must be something talkin to us. Right?

God forbid we like ourselves.

Mike