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#179732 - 09/11/07 08:40 PM Re: Impossible [Re: memoryjogger]
WalkingSouth Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 16264
Violet,

Just read your posts from today and want you to know you have support here. You've done a very brave thing, but the right thing in my opinion.

Keeping my fingers crossed and sending you my thoughts and prayers,

John

_________________________
“Life’s journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting ‘Holy ____…! What a ride!’” ~Hunter S. Thompson

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#179781 - 09/12/07 04:52 AM Re: Impossible [Re: WalkingSouth]
beccy Offline
Member

Registered: 05/28/06
Posts: 449
Loc: england
Violet,


I think you did the right thing for yourself here. You've been very strong and I hope things turn out for the best for you,


peace
Beccy


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#179806 - 09/12/07 10:08 AM Re: Impossible [Re: violet]
violet Offline
Guest

Registered: 08/13/07
Posts: 118
Loc: US
I feel like a rat trapped in the corner of a cage.

He read my letter in the way I intended- not as an attack. For that I am glad. He does agree we really need to have some goals and is willing to really work on things. I really opened up about my sensitive issues to which he basically responded "it would have been helpful to tell me this sooner."

However, he basically glosses over what I wrote about about the CSA. How typical. He says there are other issues in our relationship that need more attention.

It's a confusing mix of hopefullness and irritation.

I think I'll just shut up about the abuse for awhile. I'm sick to death of trying to encourage him when it's obvious he thinks he's over it. No use beating a dead horse.

He tells me he wants me to be his "coach" and talk about stuff and work through it all. He tells me the details of the abuse and then discloses to his family.

I know, I know he's protecting himself.

It's not like I get any joy in this. Can't he see all I want is for him to feel whole again and be happy? I've told him this but I don't think it has truly sunk in.

Will it ever?

V.



_________________________
I was silent as a child, and silenced as a young woman; I am taking my lumps and bumps for being a big mouth, now, but usually from those whose opinion I don't respect. - Sandra Cisneros

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#179821 - 09/12/07 10:46 AM Re: Impossible [Re: violet]
Agape Girl Offline
Guest

Registered: 07/25/07
Posts: 120
Loc: New Jersey, USA
Violet;

Sounds like you have a really good man. He talks to you, he tells you he wants this, that's really encouraging. Hold that tight. He loves you enough to want this.

I wanted to be able to write you something better but to be honest, I don't have any suggestions, I mean I do but I guess they work best for me "right now", and even still today they may work but tomorrow, they could be crap.

Not very encouraging I guess. I think I'm tapped out today!

Sorry

_________________________
AGAPE'
means selfless love of one person for another
without sexual implications
(especially love that is spiritual in nature)

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#180424 - 09/15/07 12:07 PM Re: Impossible [Re: Agape Girl]
violet Offline
Guest

Registered: 08/13/07
Posts: 118
Loc: US
I am better today.

Things sure ain't fixed, but at least I don't feel I'm sinking.

Thanks to listening to me stress about everything. I'm glad I wrote the letter. It really seemed to help pinpoint what the areas of greatest frustration were for both of us so we can work on those areas.

V.

_________________________
I was silent as a child, and silenced as a young woman; I am taking my lumps and bumps for being a big mouth, now, but usually from those whose opinion I don't respect. - Sandra Cisneros

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#180515 - 09/16/07 12:38 AM Re: Impossible [Re: violet]
thecoopstah Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/19/04
Posts: 589
Loc: massachusetts
I wish you the best of luck and wish you peace with the courage it took to let your husband know how you feel afterall you matter as much as he does.

god bless you and your sanity.

Coop

_________________________
" You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have "

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#180827 - 09/17/07 06:24 PM Re: Impossible [Re: thecoopstah]
violet Offline
Guest

Registered: 08/13/07
Posts: 118
Loc: US
H will start T when he is done traveling. I didn't even mention it. He brought the subject up this weekend. Going on a romantic getaway this week.

"Hope springs eternal in the human breast: Man never is, but always To be Blest." - Alexander Pope

_________________________
I was silent as a child, and silenced as a young woman; I am taking my lumps and bumps for being a big mouth, now, but usually from those whose opinion I don't respect. - Sandra Cisneros

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