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#179186 - 09/08/07 08:24 PM Update. Appointment Coming Up. Nervous.
Darren Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/12/07
Posts: 120
Loc: The High Seas
Hi everyone, I have taken a break from the board for a while. Now I have an update. I made an appointment with a psychiatrist.

Some of my thoughts:

My biggest fear about this coming appointment is that my situation will be shrugged off, discounted as sibling mischief. I have been preparing myself for that. Maybe it is sibling mischief and I am as much to blame as my perpetrators. This goes against everything I have read about CSA, but I guess the subconscious self-blame is so strong. Who knows. I feel I am thinking irrationally now.

I am aware psychiatrists are very expensive and the doctor may not deem my situation worthy of such expense. Perhaps he will refer me to psychotherapy? Perhaps he will even prescribe meds!? It is all I have been able to think about. Actually it is making me depressed I think. And until I go it is going to be in the forefront of my mind.

All of you have been so kind and thoughtful in your replies. I appreciate your kind words. Reading you posts and learning of your experiences, I believe, has helped me to get to this point. Thanks for listening to me. -Darren

_________________________
“Now and then we had a hope that if we lived and were good, God would permit us to be pirates” -Mark Twain

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#179213 - 09/09/07 12:36 AM Re: Update. Appointment Coming Up. Nervous. [Re: Darren]
Brian Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 05/03/01
Posts: 1563
Loc: Upstate NY
Darren,

It takes a lot of courage to take the steps necessary to heal. Good luck with your appointment; I hope it goes well for you!

Brian

_________________________
Recovery is Possible!

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#179228 - 09/09/07 03:19 AM Re: Update. Appointment Coming Up. Nervous. [Re: Brian]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Darren,

You know what? Of all the guys who have gone into therapy and talked about it here, I haven't seen even one who did so without at least some fear and anxiety. I was petrified when I started! It amazed me that I was even able to keep the appointment.

I doubt that the T will dismiss your situation as sibling mischief, but I understand why you feel that way. Part of our problem is that in the past our pain and suffering wasn't taken seriously; what we wanted and needed didn't matter. So as adults we continue to have that feeling that nothing has changed.

I hope you will continue to talk about your fears concerning therapy. Like I said, that's a familiar theme here. You will be talking to guys who understand exactly what you're saying, and talking about it will in itself rob that fear of some of its grip on you.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#179728 - 09/11/07 08:28 PM Re: Update. Appointment Coming Up. Nervous. [Re: roadrunner]
Darren Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/12/07
Posts: 120
Loc: The High Seas
Thanks guys! I feel a lot better. Still nervous, but not as much. -Darren

_________________________
“Now and then we had a hope that if we lived and were good, God would permit us to be pirates” -Mark Twain

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