i feel stupid for saying this cus its like a kid story but i was watching it the other day and i freaked out for what ever reason it reminded me of abuse i couldnt watch it.

Chris,

Do not feel badly about yourself in this. I watched the film a while back and was quite triggered in places and had some difficulty myself. I think that feeling we git is a natural result of knowing what it feels like to be put in the kind of position Oliver was. It shows that our heart is not dead but living, strong, and compassionate.

Lots of love,

John

Chris,

On that particular film, yep, I agree with John as usual . And remember that Oliver was being manipulated and mistreated and Dickens' book is really a pretty dark tale, even in the toned-down film versions we usually see.

You may find that all kinds of things trigger you. That is, they don't have to be scary or threatening in themselves; it's just that they connect somehow with what happened to you and set off in your mind memories and feelings from those bad times.

For example, the man who abused me used a lot of a certain sweet after-shave. There's of course nothing frightening or dangerous about after-shave, right? But for a long time, when I smelled that brand, then in my mind it triggered that connection with the abuser and brought back the bad memories and feelings.

A therapist can usually help you with this kind of thing, Chris. Just remember you're not "losing it" or overreacting. This kind of thing often happens to survivors, and when it does, the best thing to do is exactly what you are doing - talking about it.

Much love,
Larry

thanks guys.

.Chris

I'm a closet Dickens fan, and Oliver Twist happens to be my favorite Dickens tale.

Just recently, I was rereading this Dickens tale prior to seeing Roman Polanski's version of the movie, and on page 411 of my Everyman's Library copy, a dialogue between Dickens and Fagan that was highly triggering to me came to fruition with Oliver's words "Oh! God forgive this wretched man!" I broke down and cried.

And when I watched Polanski's movie shortly therafter, I broke down and cried during the scene where they depicted this confrontation.

This book is, in my opinion, one of the strongest pieces of literature ever written, and Polanski's movie actually does it some justice.

in a few months i will have to give it another try. i shut it off after just once scene it was bothering me to much.

,Chris

Chris,

That sounds like a good idea and I'm glad you're "taking care of Chris". When something comes up - a film, a song, a situation, whatever - and it really bothers you and you feel yourself being badly affected, just get yourself out. Do what's best for you. You don't owe the world explanations, and if you want to say something it doesn't have to be more than "I just had to get out; I can't go into it more right now."

Much love,
Larry