I think (after much thought, anguish, and consternation) that I am bisexual...I think. Just writing and posting this gives me great anxiety. There I said it...I am bisexual...I think. I mean what if someone finds out? Can I live with someone knowing I am bisexual? And being bisexual means you don't belong to either the "Gay" community or the "Straight" community...I think.
I am attracted to both men and women...at least sexually...I think. Emotionally I am attracted to women. I myself am neither masucline or feminine. I am somewhere in limbo. I have always had better non-sexual relations with women.
Sexually I am very submissive to both men and women. I would rather please them then to be pleased myself. I don't like seeing my own body. I hate not having a shirt on. I have never penetrated a male (and have no desire to do so) and when I penetrate a female I feel totally inadequate. In some ways I am very feminine. In some ways I am masculine - but not "very". My wife and I have sex maybe once every ten days. I always initiate - but I think thats because she never does. I know how screwed up the CSA has made my sexuality - for example I hate my own pubic hair and have shaved it off - I believe in an attempt to be "child-like" again...I think. I am not sure what healthy sexuality is...Bisexual, Gay, or Straight...I think.
On previous posts I have said I was straight (I am married) but I really think that I am bisexual...I think. Does that change anything? No, just means that I have a sexual response to men...I think. I am still in a monogomous, committed, heterosexual relationship.
It would be so much easier if I could scream "I am Gay" or "I am Straight"...I think.
Edited by kellygtx (09/04/07 05:02 PM)
I bid you Peace.
The time is always NOW. Breath In. Breath Out. Move On.