Children writing about the sea.....
1) This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles.
(Kelly age 6)
2) Oysters' balls are called pearls. (James age 6)
3) If you are surrounded by sea you are an Island. If you don't have sea
all round you, you are incontinent. (Wayne age 7)
4) Sharks are ugly & mean, & have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson.
She's not my friend any more. (Kylie age 6)
5) A dolphin breaths through an arsehole on the top of its head. (Billy
6) My uncle goes out in his boat with pots, & comes back with crabs.
(Millie age 6)
7) When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the
ocean. Sometimes, when the wind didn't blow, the sailors would whistle
to make the wind come. My brother said they would be better off eating
beans. (William age 7)
8) I like mermaids. They are beautiful, & I like their shiny tails. How
do mermaids get pregnant? (Helen age 6)
9) I'm not going to write about the sea. My baby brother is always
screaming & being sick, my Dad keeps shouting at my Mum, & my big sister
has just got pregnant, so I can't think what to write.(Amy age 6)
10) Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can give
you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they
have to plug themselves into chargers. (Christopher age 7)
11) When you go swimming in the sea, it is very cold, & it makes my
willy small. (Kevin age 6)
12) Divers have to be safe when they go under the water.
Two divers can't go down alone, so they have to go down on each other.
Becky age 8)
Not Perfect, just forgiven