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#176650 - 08/28/07 09:15 PM Re: Question for Christian Survivors [Re: pietie]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Tjaart,

Originally Posted By: pietie
Have you ever thought that perhaps this place is part of the prayer of that 10 year old?


I have indeed! A big part. I don't believe in coincidences. \:\) I have been blessed by the caring and intervention of so many good people, and many of them are right here. I see all of them as somehow acting as part of whatever God has in mind, even if they themselves would not see it that way.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#176672 - 08/28/07 10:53 PM Re: Question for Christian Survivors [Re: roadrunner]
Brokenhearted Offline
Member

Registered: 08/07/06
Posts: 644
Loc: TX
Can any of you imagine allowing your child to be beaten and tortured and killed b/c you want to save someone else? I don't want to start another debate either but I just can't get over that one.....I love my child w/ everything I have and so if God loves us THAT much, then that's pretty darn incredible.

_________________________
Brokenhearted

It were better for him that a millstone were hanged around his neck, and he cast into the sea, than that he should offend one of these little ones.
Luke 17:2

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#176714 - 08/29/07 01:46 AM Re: Question for Christian Survivors [Re: Brokenhearted]
shadowkid Offline
WARNING from ModTeam, September 2013: user "Shadowkid" was exposed as a hoaxer. His entire online persona and stories of sexual abuse were fiction. We encourage you not to become emotionally concerned by anything you see in any of his posts. Thank you
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/18/05
Posts: 2437
i cant imagine saying that every chld is gods child and letting thousands of them be tortured and killed ,TELL ME THIS! if god gave up his only son then how can we all be gods children?and giving up his only son might mean a liitle more if that stopped the hurting ,what good was it for jesus to die? for my sins? who was spared pain cause jesus died? and if i suffer enough will i be like jesus? i dont think jesus died so i can go to heaven ,if there is such a place?i earned my way in . that god loves me enough to let me suffer is not a comforting thought to me. i prayed as an 11 year old ,but i dont think finding help 11 years later is a sign of devine intervention .

_________________________
its not hard to fall
when you float like a cannonball - damien rice

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#177014 - 08/29/07 08:32 PM Re: Question for Christian Survivors [Re: shadowkid]
emptydreamer Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/19/07
Posts: 276
Loc: Midwest USA
I have to echo Larry here, and I know it is not the popular opinion, but it is the reality I face.

I am however glad, that those who feel otherwise find some comfort in your beliefs. That is the most important part.

Best wishes and warmest regards,
Scott

_________________________
I'm here for a reason. Failure is not an option.

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#177055 - 08/29/07 09:56 PM Re: Question for Christian Survivors [Re: emptydreamer]
Mark Antony Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 01/03/07
Posts: 34
Loc: Michigan

Shadow Kid
Is it possible that you are blaming the wrong being here? Is it possible that the one who caused your suffering was not GOD, but the king of lies, perhaps Satan?
So if it is possible that GOD did not cause your suffering why is it not possible for it to be a devine intervention that you have begun healing?
There is no promise of an easy life in christianity. In fact the promise is that we will have trouble in out life and GOD will see us through. You are still here so you must have survived. Sounds to me like what was promised.

Mark


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#177056 - 08/29/07 10:03 PM Re: Question for Christian Survivors [Re: Mark Antony]
Mark Antony Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 01/03/07
Posts: 34
Loc: Michigan
To address how we can all be GOD's children, there is this thing that even humans use. It is called adoption. Yes we have been adopted by GOD. I belive this is discussed in the books of Corinthians, Romans, and Galatians.

Mark


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#177060 - 08/29/07 10:12 PM Re: Question for Christian Survivors [Re: Mark Antony]
Mark Antony Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 01/03/07
Posts: 34
Loc: Michigan
To address the issue of what good did it do for Jesus to die for me(my sin). What this accomplished is that your soul will not suffer death (eternal separation from God). Jesus' death on the cross was not to relive your pain in this world but to get you to heaven where there will be no pain or suffering. There is no way to EARN heaven. We are saved by Grace through Faith and Works. Faith and Works are not able to be separated,because one demonstrates the other. This is discussed in detail in the book of James.

Mark


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#177061 - 08/29/07 10:15 PM Re: Question for Christian Survivors [Re: Mark Antony]
Mark Antony Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 01/03/07
Posts: 34
Loc: Michigan
If I suffer enough will I be like Jesus? The answer is no because Jesus is fully human and fully devine. Therefore we can work toward being like Jesus but you can never become 100% like Jesus. Humans cannot become devine no matter how hard we try.

Mark


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#177075 - 08/29/07 11:34 PM Re: Question for Christian Survivors [Re: Mark Antony]
savemyfam Offline
Guest

Registered: 07/17/07
Posts: 144
Loc: Chicago
Originally Posted By: Mark Antony

Is it possible that you are blaming the wrong being here? Is it possible that the one who caused your suffering was not GOD, but the king of lies, perhaps Satan?
So if it is possible that GOD did not cause your suffering why is it not possible for it to be a devine intervention that you have begun healing?
There is no promise of an easy life in christianity. In fact the promise is that we will have trouble in out life and GOD will see us through.



Beautifully put!!! Absolute words of wisdom!!

_________________________
God has a plan for me, I trust in God's plan.

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#177200 - 08/30/07 02:47 PM Re: Question for Christian Survivors [Re: shadowkid]
SECfanMIKE Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/15/07
Posts: 172
Loc: South Carolina

For each of us here at MALE SURVIVOR, our stories may be very different, but -- PRAISE GOD! -- His story is always the same!!Here's a condensed view of where I'm coming from for folks I haven't met yet. In 2nd grade, my parents separated. My mother took my brother & me to live near her parents in Washington, DC. During that time, my mother's uncle molested me for about 1 1/2 years. My mother knowingly allowed this abuse to go on because she was afraid that if she confronted him she might be cut off from her family's money. My grand-uncle played on my deep needs for acceptance & affection; very emotionally intimate.

My grand-uncle used my deep need for affection to manipulate me. I vividly remember times getting out of the shower with him & laying on his white tiger rug or bed. He performed oral sex on me, sodomized me, forced me to perform oral sex on him. He may have forced my younger brother & me to engage each other sexually (a but fuzzy on that). He was never violent. Recognizing my emotional vulnerability, he was emotionally intimate: cuddled me, held me, snuggled me, lavished me with affection.

From the time my mother sent my brother and me back to live with my Dad -- because she said that I was "...turning into a queer..." -- (an 8 year old!); my Dad and brother were extremely cruel, verbally and physically abusive. From the time my younger brother Chris and I were toddlers, my Dad had always hated me because I wasn't the tall, aggressive, athletic son that my younger brother was. After returning from 1 1/2 years of being molested while in Washington, DC - my Dad hated me more than ever and had no idea what I had gone through, much less what to do with me. He AND my younger brother would sit at the dinner table and call me "...you goddam faggot...". My Dad would frequently say; "All those damn queers should be rounded up, taken to a public square and shot!"

Predictably, at this point I was unsure about who I was; and I had been suddenly taken away from the only affection I had ever known. As I began to make friends in my new neighborhood and school; without even understanding what I was looking for, I began seeking that acceptance and affection from other boys my age, and a few who were several years older. None of this searching ever lead to sexual encounters; but as a 9 year old my best friend Owen and I became extremely close -- often going to his house after school (and if his mother ad sister weren't home) we progressed to embracing one another, kissing, undressing each other (we had to get out of our Catholic school uniforms, anyway), and even exploring each other's bodies with our hands. I felt so loved and so fulfilled with Owen...and then had to face the horrors of going home to my Dad for more verbal & physical abuse. It was very confusing.

Having that kind of satisfying physical and emotional intimacy with one of my peers stopped at the end of 5th grade when my Dad remarried and moved us across town. I still never consciously understood why I was so attracted to other boys...whether it was at SCOUT camp, in school, or neighborhood peers. I used to get the tar beat out of me almost everyday, because it seemed that other guys had a much better idea than I did of why I might be staring at them in a longing way. That continued through high school -- where my best friend, "Pap" (who was an All-State soccer & hockey player) convinced me to volunteer to become the student trainer / equipment manager for our soccer, basketball, and baseball teams. Pretty dangerous environment for a guy who's confused about why he's attracted to other guys -- being in a locker room with athletes taking showers.

I enlisted in the NAVY. After boot camp and basic Hospital Corps school, I was sent to Operating Room Technician school in Oakland, CA. I soon learned that there is a huge gay population in the military medical community -- far out numbering the "straight" people (at least in a place like Oakland - being just across the Bay Bridge from San Francisco). I quickly became best friends with an upperclassman who was from Boston. Scott was openly gay (as were at least half of the staff and students in the operating room); and he sort of took me under his wing...exposing me to things that I had never even imagined existed. My Dad had caused me to be so homophobic that I was even afraid to appreciate art - say looking at a sculpture like Michelangelo's "David" - but Scott's friendship showed me how to appreciate people for who they are instead of fearing or hating them because of unfair stereotypes. I have to admit that he did turn me on to smoking marijuana and some experimenting with other recreational chemicals; but never to the extent of dependence. We mostly had a lot of fun hanging out together.

In early 1981, while I was again working in the Operating Room at the NAVY hospital in Guam; a good friend of mine who I had partied with for years suddenly "found Jesus". I thought that Anita was just burned out from too much acid or cocaine; but unknown to me, she had asked members of her ladies Bible study group to pray for me. The leader, Jean (from Rhode Island), asked for prayer requests; so Anita asked them to pray that I'd come to an evangelistic outreach that they hosted once a month. Jean asked Anita; "Why don't we pray for Mike's salvation?" and Anita said; "Oh no, that would be way too much!". Fortunately for me, these gals (and a guys' Bible study group that Jean's husband Paul led) began to pray for my salvation. Jean's husband Paul befriended me - we often played racquetball, softball, basketball, etc. I got involved in his Bible study group - and in August of '81 the LORD really invaded my life. I was already in the habit of having a daily "quiet time", plus memorizing Scripture and witnessing -- but one morning while using "Our Daily Bread" as a devotional guide, I was confronted by the Holy Spirit. There was an example of someone asking Jesus into the "house" of their life (like in Revelation 3.20); but then trying to lock Him up in their front hall closet (not giving Him free reign over the whole house). I was challenged to be sure that I had actually received Christ as my Savior... so I made absolutely sure right then and there. I experienced the new life that unknowingly I'd always longed for - AND - I finally met the One who loved as I'd always needed to be loved. I threw myself into Bible study, prayer and got involved in as many ministries as the LORD, church, and Christian Serviceman's Center allowed me to participate in. I was incredibly blessed that the LORD had 2 very spiritually mature, loving "disciplers" take me under their wing and train me.

I NEVER AGAIN HAD ANY DESIRE FOR ANOTHER GUY! The LORD also instantly freed me from marijuana and other drugs.

In '84 I left Guam and the NAVY, to come to Columbia, SC to attend Columbia Bible College. Before I even enrolled, the LORD brought me together with the woman who would change my life forever - my Rosie! By October my Sweetie and I were engaged, and I decided to leave school and get a real job. We've been happily married for 22+ years now (despite countless struggles through my unemployment, depression, numerous moves literally all over the world, and my disabling Irritable Bowel Syndrome).

It was about 6-7 years ago (when Rosie, our son Nathan, and I were living in Guam) that I began recovering the memories of my grand-uncle's abusing me. Some of the results have been me beginning to get an understanding of my chronic depression, inability to trust people, my tendency to isolate myself, insomnia, self-esteem problems, why I've always been passive in relationships, & even why I've suffered from chronic severe Irritable Bowel Syndrome (clinically linked to CSA). I've also gained insight on the types of relationships that I tried to form.

Well, I'm just praising God for Him bringing me in contact with some many other wonderful Christian brothers here on the SURVIVORS website. We've suffered through similar experiences - and now the LORD has called us to a common ministry of encouragement and evangelization with others who've suffered as we have. We're empowered to "comfort others with the comfort which we ourselves have received from God".
_________________________
John 3.17 -- "...For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world might be saved through Him...".

BROKENHEARTED - I hope the LORD will use this to encourage you. If you'd like to share it with your husband, please feel free. I'd be happy to answer any questions if he has some. My Sweetie and I will be praying for y'all.

Your Brother In Christ - Mike <><

_________________________
"...for God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world might be saved through Him..."

"...rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep..."

"...for the Son of Man came to seek and to save what was lost..."

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