I can relate with your struggle. It seems one of the bi-products of being abused is sexual confusion and being attracted to both sexes and that certainly has been my experience. Being married and in a committed relationship makes it very difficult to act on the urges and as you stated, it can often lead to suffering of some sort, guilt, loss of self esteem, possible disease, and have a negative impact on the relationship.
Others here have been able to acknowledge the desires and in some cases, resist them with the help of their spouse, counseling, etc. And in other cases, decide they felt more comfortable in a gay relationship and have moved in that direction. Most likely, there are lots of different ways we have handled the situation.
I think it is important to do what is right for you, what ever that is. I personally, have tried to get a lot of information about why the attraction exists in the context of being a survivor, work with a therapist to better understand the dynamics of my past and present happenings from a wholistic perspective; join a group of men who have a same sex attraction, led by a therapist, in hopes of getting more information and support in the current place that I am in.
I think the worst thing you can do is try to do it all on your own. You are tempted to hook up now and i have to believe the desire will only get stronger, especially if you act on it. Jarred suggested reading how other folks have dealt with it and if you look at what others are doing having the same struggle, you may get some ideas for yourself as well.
I am glad your reaching out, let us be there for you the best way we can, and then you do some homework on your own and hopefully you will get where you need to be. It is not a situation that you can completely get over from my perspective, but with help, you can determine what is right for you to do with it.