another mass exodus happened again tonight. you guys really need to come in and say "okay we are all going to the healing circle" or something. the guy in charge should let everyone know cause it really blows.

Jarrad,

As far as I know, there are no Healing Circles on Tuesday nights, but I am willing to stand corrected and/or proved wrong.

there is.

Yeah,I always feel a little awkward coming in for one minute and then being "transported" out of the chatroom, although, most of the time I go to chat, no one will talk to me anyway...they are all PMing each other, so what is the difference?

the difference is, it sucks when you are in there and 10 guys show up all at once and you get all excited because they are all your friends and they leave within minutes without warning. i just think it would be nice to let us know. common courtesy

What I usually do Rich, is first thing when I get into the chat room I mark myself as AWAY.

OK I'll happily be wrong.

J

Ok, and as Lorie Kindly pointed out to me, it's Wed. night. Sooooo, wrong, and wrong again, LOL

Wait a minute - this is Wednesday, guys.

part of the problem is once the window pops up for the circle you cant talk in open chat to even explain

You're too slow, Andy!!!!!!! Pay back's a bitch isn't it? Cuz this is payback for last night, bud! LOL!

At least I had the day right.

Jason,

Thanks for the advice buddy. I'll try that. Just always seemed rude to me to pop in and then right out. From now on, I'll be "Away".

Jarrad.....

I said hi and told you I was going.... I even mentioned a plan for you to try and get in to this one....

Sorry, if I made you mad.....

Luv ya,
Carl

no you didnt carl at all. thats how i knew you all were going over there. i think if you guys are going to have more and more of these meetings at least have the ring leader let everyone in the room know that a healing circle is about to start. thats all.

The 'ringleader' makes the members of the healing circles sound like a gang of criminals. Not a nice implication. I'm with Rich. The few times I go to chat, 95% no speaks to me, to even acknowledge I'm there. Everyone is PM-ing each other and apparantly can't focus on two things at once. So it is not like the healing circles are the only 'rude' thing that happens, on a regular basis, in the chat room.

Leosha

well the healing circles are essentially an exclusive club which ive commented on before. granted they are meant for good not for crimminal things. as survivors, (and we all know i hate that term, but ill play along) as survivors, a lot of people have issues with being excluded. that can be from everyone going to the healing circle or being ignored in chat. i dont know how to solve the "being ignored" in chat part, but im jsut saying there is a solution for the healing circle. before the ringleader starts nabbing everyone to come to the "secret" room, it would be nice for a quick message.

Yes. An 'exclusive club' that there have been numerous opportunities to join since they began. Aside of that, perhaps you could PM to Muldoon about the issue and your suggestion. He is a very kind man and very open to suggestions and advice of things.

Leosha

yeah i know. ironically enough i have missed the oppertunity to join more than once. and i did PM muldoon his box is full. MULDOON, your box is full. haha. but yeah im looking into them. im not against them at all. im all for it. just im all for being kind to those left behind too

Jarrad,

I do belong to one of the 'circle' groups, the Monday one. I do know that with our group, Tom (Muldoon) will always mention, in the main chat room, 'Ok, I am going to set up the room now'. I am sorry if whoever run the Wednesday night one do not announce such as that, perhaps it can become what is normally done.

VN

Jarrad

Where the ------ have you been ????????????????????????????? The sign up for the new Wed Healing Circle was up for over 3 weeks. I went out of my way to make sure that everyone that wanted to be part of it would see the post. We made a Sticky post so that it was at the top of page one of the Discussion Board and never moved for all that time. Anyone who came to the DB would have see it. Don't come off like you have been treated unfairly. All i can say is you must not of been here for a long time to have missed out on this new opertunity to be part of the Healing Circles.

Tom

Jarrad there was 548 views of the post to sign up for the new healing circle so everyone else saw it but you.

Tom

Jarrad,

I'm sure we could accommodate you in one of the Circles if you are really serious about joining a group. Trust me, they are NOT exclusive private clubs.

jarrad ,i thought andy and i did say the circle was starting ,but i also know you were away from the board when the sign up was running ,dude talk to tom maybe something can be worked out ,i think it would be cool to have you join the circles adam

shadow, yeah im not saying its your fault or andy's fault. i think my point is comming off really bitchy and im not meaning to have it sounds that way. basically it would great if all the leaders are asked to let everyone know. that's all.

muldoon, haha actually i did miss it. ironically i was ban from the board for a month. so. yeah i couldn't sign up.

muldoon, is it possible to have a posting about the healing circles that is locked that explains what they are, so when you guys all leave you can just post the link prior to your departutre. this way the guys that are left dont have to do damage control on people who have no clue what's going on. just a thought.

one easy way is if there is a circle and your going to it ,just show up in chat ten minutes early and say hey guys going to the circle meeting ,i think i can give ten minutes to not have people feel left out ,so thats how im gonna do it from now on adam

That's a good idea, Adam. I'll do likewise.

Good idea Adam. I'll try that as well.

L.

Jarrad I do like the idea of having a stickt post at the top of the discussion board that explains what the heaking cirles are so all the new guys would know.

Jarrad I hope you understand that the Healing Circles is a very evolving process. We will alse have new guys that will need help.
I will PM you next week. Tom

What are Healing Circles

A Healing Circle is a peer support group over the internet. Peer support groups can be a very powerful tool in the healing process. None of us is a trained therapist. We are simply survivors coming together to share our feelings. Therefore, we all take responsibility for making the meetings as safe and supportive as possible.


How it Works

We use the chat room format with a few changes. One of the members of the group is the facilitator who directs the meeting. Only one person is speaking at a time. It's a therapy type chat setup where each member can ask for time to discuss their issues and receive feedback from others. Much care is taken to avoid people being triggered. In order to have a open and truthful discussion of the issues, once formed groups will be closed meetings. The circles are a chance to get a little closer to the guys who meet with you every week ,it's comfortable, after a few meetings you get to know what to expect and what each persons needs and strengths are .
Many of us didn't really know what to expect from a group setting so possibly some guys are hesitant to join. Please read more so you understand what the Healing Circles are about



Why it Works

The Healing Circles are valuable resource for everyone. We all get an opportunity in the circle that many of us don't get in the outside world - the chance to share something that is pressing against our hearts, and to get some realtime feedback from people who at some level or another understand and feel that pain or concern. In turn, we all get an opportunity to help someone who is hurting and needs our support. That to me is what helps make this community a good one.



Our Mission Statement.

We understand that the road is easier when not traveled alone and therefore the purpose of this circle is to provide a place of safety for men who as children or in adulthood have been victims of sexual abuse and or assault. Here, one can express his thoughts, fears, joys, or anger and know that his voice will be heard by others who will understand and validate him as a human being. Here, the focus is not so much on the past as it is on healing. Naturally the past and its abuse will come up from time to time but the purpose is to find a way through it to the healing that awaits on the other side. We will look at our journeys to see where we are on the road to healing and discuss things that work for us as well as things that do not. We will learn from the mistakes and successes of others and thus promote healing in our own lives.


Choice

If there is one thing that I have learned in my life it is that I have a problem. It is not my fault but the fact still remains; I have a problem. I did not choose to be sexually abused. The pedophile chose to abuse me. He did not ask my permission; he took what he wanted, leaving me wounded, confused and in pain.

So now it is my turn to choose. I can choose to stay here where I am and feel sorry for myself and try to convince or manipulate others to feel sorry for me too, after all, don't I deserve it. Or I can choose to seek heeling for my wounds. I can reclaim that which was taken from me. I can seek answers and relief from my pain.

It's not my fault, but it is my problem. What I do about it is my choice. If like me, you are tired of being a victim, I encourage you to make a choice to heal, I invite you to join us here in The Healing Circle. Together we will travel a road that is not familiar to any of us but common to us all. We will support each other and lend a helping hand along the way.

This is not an easy road we travel and is not for the faint of heart but if you are serious about becoming a victor instead of a victim, by all means, join us. We are not super human nor do we claim to have all the answers. We are just a bunch of ordinary guys who want to use all the tools available to become the men we were created to be

cool